Turn to the oldies

Well, one thing you can say for certain about the highly trumpeted but rather tamely named Paris Agreement to Get Atmosphere Nice (PAGAN). It's the first time in the history of history that 196 nations have signed anything. Of course, this is simply because, as far as we know in the eyelash of time where we've been writing shit down, there have never been 196 countries existing simultaneously.

Another amazing factoid from this carbon-concerned confab is that all 196 countries currently in existence signed this thing. Every one! Earth goes unanimous! I mean, when you consider that even a resolution declaring that humans like air, water, and bacon would probably get a couple of No votes, this unanimity is impressive. Even the usual sourpuss stick-in-the-muds when it comes to UN votes, like Israel, Russia, Grumpistan and good ole U.S. signed up. As a result, there's a much bigger buzz surrounding this document, now that the big kids aren't going all Kyoto this time around. The delegates were also moved by the photos of government workers in a couple of Pacific island nations sending faxes while standing ankle deep in rising sea water.

And hey, who knows, this pact might actually result in something good in terms of calming ourselves down a bit and taking some of this meltage seriously. You know, like hey, uh, snow is good, OK? And don't forget, humanity isn't completely lame when it comes to cleaning up our messes. Remember the ozone hole problem in the ' 90s? We responded fairly quickly and efficiently in that one, and now we don't get that big oh ho' no mo', that hole that was such good business for dermatologists and the Coppertone/Bullfrog sunscreen complex. Granted, getting along without chlorine in our hairspray is a tad spot easier game plan to accommodate than the elimination of about 19 billion machines thirsty for old brontosaurus bones, but the point here is there was once a time when our species quickly responded to alerts from scientists and got a positive result as a result. What a concept!

So maybe you'd like a timeout from all this heavy stuff, all this terrorism/gun squabbling/wacky politics/drought/insane onslaught of hype for effing Star Wars. I have a suggestion, a suggestion that I'm positive will bring you a few precious moments of escapist peace and relaxation. Give yourself a half-hour for this exercise. That's all you need. Thirty minutes in your stereo room. Turn off the phone. Turn off the lights. And by all means, turn off the dadgum television. Select an old favorite CD, something you haven't listened to in years. Put it on. Listen to it. Give all your attention to it. It's not background music. Not now. It's foreground music. Front and center. It's you and the music, one on one. Let it take you to wherever it will take you. You know what? It'll be all right!