Trumpo at Bushwood

In contemporary films, the bad guy usually comes from one of three Pools of Villainy: (1) Middle Eastern terrorist, (2) Mexican drug cartel, or (3) sleazy, amoral, money-mad real estate developer. What are we to make of the disturbing reality that a member of Pool 3 was actually nominated for the office of President of the United States by the Republican Party?

Well, right off, I suspect that the GOP has been skipping its meds. You know, like hiding ’em under its tongue and then spitting them out. Nurses, be watchful!

You know of whom Trump reminds me? Does the name Al Czervik ring any kind of bell? I’ll give you a second. Al Czervik. No? Remember Rodney Dangerfield’s character in Caddyshack? That’s him, that’s Al, described as “a rich, fun-loving real estate and construction mogul, who’s visiting Bushwood with the possible intention of buying it and using the land for condos.” And there ya go. Spot on and bull’s eye.

Trump unleashed upon Bushwood Country Club would be a Xerox of Czervik/Rodney D—back-slapping everybody, chompin’ on a cigar, ogling the waitresses, hittin’ on the cart girls, needling the regulars, and hustling up $50 nassaus (golf bets). And I have no problem with Trump being that guy, being a real-life Al Czervik, in NYC or Florida or wherever, being that high volume, bloviating hot dog of a showboating asshole at the country club that you love to beat if you get into a game with him, because you know if he beats you, you’re gonna hear about it and it’ll be tough to swallow and you’ll start daydreaming of burying a sand wedge up the crack of his ass, a move that you’re pretty sure will have considerable support in the clubhouse.

So no, I don’t mind Trump being a deplorable dude straight out of Caddyshack. Not at all. It’s a free country. At least, until Pepe the Frog and his cuddly fascist shithead skinheads take control of Congress. However, what I do mind is that the Republican Party nominated this self-centered asshat to be the president of our country, ferfuxakes! I totally mind, and it totally blows my mind. It’s as though the GOP thought it would be real funny and give America a hot foot this year … only in doing so, it lit its own undies on fire.

Rosie O’Donnell responded nicely to Trump’s latest toxic tweets, calling the 6’2”, 236- pound payaso an “orange anus.” That pretty much nails it. I’m thinking Hill might wanna find a way to sneak that into the next—wait. Hold on. 6-2, 236? Watch it, Pendejo Naranja! Gettin’ a little tubby!