Tricky Dick and the Donald

It’s interesting just how many pundits there are who talk glibly about Trump running for president in 2020, as though it’s a given. Uh, call me radical antifa kamikaze if you must, but it sure looks to me as though there are some fairly gnarly speed bumps dead ahead for our POUTY POTUS in 2019. I mean, talking about Twitler as a viable candidate in 2020 feels, right now, like an act of tremendous naiveté. These sentencing statements from Mueller and the SDNY we got on Pearl Harbor Day were some ornery little Valentines, and more than one legal eagle has observed that the only reason Dum Dum isn’t indicted right this very second is, bizarrely enough, because he’s the frickin’ president (a notion that sets as comfortably in the national mindscape these days as that of the accursed Electoral College).

It looks like my call of a year ago ain’t gonna happen. Boo! Last December, I waxed VanDykadamus and clairvoyantly speculated that the Trumps would spend but one Christmas in the White House. Looks like that was a bit wishful. But that said, I’ll now say this—I don’t like Spanky’s chances for a third Xmas in D.C. He seems to be a juicy jumbo bucket of chicken right now, and there are five to seven wolverines (Mueller, SDNY, AGNY, Avenatti, CREW, etc.) that have picked up the scent. And they're hungry!

We hear a lot about the parallels between Watergate and Trumpgate, and there are many, for sure. But there are some differences, too. The main one is that compared to Trumpgate, Watergate is stone cold Chump Change. Yes, there was a lot of brazen bullshit being perpetrated by Nixon and his bunch, but the financial rewards of Watergate were basically zero. So what did Nixon want? He wanted to see what info the Dems had on him and what their game plan was for the ’72 campaign. Paranoid as hell, Tricky Dick wanted intel. And this desire was, in the end, both insane and fairly stupid, because he ended up winning 49 states in that Election. He didn’t need the intel. It was a massacre.

But Trumpgate? It’s all about the bennies, baby. Mountains and mountains of ’em. This became crystal clear when Mueller wrote that Trump Tower Moscow would have been worth hundreds of millions to Prez Capone. Oodles and oodles of Big Dough. Bingo. Jackpot. Oligarch money. One more time—this scandal makes that scandal look like little eensty teentsy tiny potatoes.

In six or so months, is the U.S. being led by President—Pelosi?