The Twitler watch

Well! It took all of a week—one zany week liberally sprinkled with faux facts, fuckups and farcicles—for President Twitler and his crack team of knuckleheaded newbies to firmly establish that they indeed don’t have the eentsiest teentsiest clue as to what the fuck they’re doing.

While everybody is wrangling today with the considerable fallout from Twitler’s pissy little Arab travel ban, I wanna go way, way back to Saturday the 21st, when Trump wasted no time whatsoever in showing off some 5-star cluelessness. This happened in front of the CIA’s Wall of the Fallen, adorned by 117 stars, one for each life given by agents in the line of duty. It was the third appearance ever by a sitting president at this hallowed spot, and whereas both Dubya (speaking there after Sept. 11) and Obama (speaking after the successful hit on Bin Laden) were measured and respectful in their solemn remarks, Twitler wasted no time in offending the daylights out of every intelligence employee in earshot as he broke into his narcissist rap, talking about, among other things, how many times he’s been on the cover of Time and other galling egomaniacal trifles. To say the veteran agents in attendance were unimpressed is to greatly understate the case. One observer said Twitler’s routine was about as appropriate as a president doing standup schtick at Arlington National Cemetery.

Newsweek’s Kurt Eichenwald said he actually didn’t blame Trump for this gaffe, but instead pointed his finger at the president’s staff, pointing out that if these reckless rookies had had the slightest clue as to what the hell was going on and where Trump was speaking, they would have briefed him accordingly as to the proper tone. But they didn’t, because they didn’t know shit, because they’re frightfully ignorant amateurs. They just showed up and applauded for The Boss like good minions, and presto! In less than 24 hours, Team Twitler had recorded its first lameass misstep.

By the way, do you know how many Americans have been killed by terrorists from the seven countries singled out by Team Trump for the Muslim travel ban? ZERO. That shooting at Fort Hood (2009) was carried out by Nidal Hasan, born in the United States to Palestinian parents. The Bomb Brothers in Boston (2013) were both Russians. The male San Bernadino shooter (2015) was an American citizen, his wife a Pakistani raised in Saudi Arabia. The Orlando madman (2016) was U.S., born here to Afghan parents. Twitler’s order makes us safer in the same way that bacon makes you smarter.