The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Rated 2.0 A remake of the 1974 horror classic produced by Michael Bay, this “retelling” of the original story is too pretty for its own good. Grandpa, The Cook and the creepy dinner scene are replaced by stereotypical white trash characters and extended moments with the infamous hook. Original Chainsaw cinematographer Daniel Pearl returns, and some of his work is impressive, but the film lacks a sense of dread. While not as pointless as Gus Van Sant’s shot-by-shot remake of Psycho, it’s still quite pointless. While the remake has more gore, it has significantly less scares. One moment, where Leatherface dons the face of one of his victims, gets a good jolt, but that’s about it for big frights. Jessica Biel makes for a good scream queen, and R. Lee Ermey does a good nut, but the rest of the cast is dull.