The terrorists at home
OK, Twitler. You say your first job as Prez is to protect us. You really wanna do that? Of course you don’t. You’re lying. As always. But fuck it. I’ve got a simple, three-step plan for you.
1. Take all of your pathetic travel bans, wipe your ass with them, and flush ’em down the dumper. You know how many people from Libya, Yemen and Somalia have attacked us in, say, forever? Zero. You know who is considerably more dangerous to Americans than Muslims from abroad? Your very own demographic, Dum Dum. Old, crabby white men who get their spiritual sustenance from (a) Fux News and (b) sports. You’re dangerous. And you keep proving it.
2. Tell Mitch and Paul to do two things. First, ditch this POS bill that some jerkoff from South Carolina is pushing, the SHARE act (Sportsmen’s Heritage and Recreational Enhancement Act). This NRA-backed horror would make it much easier to purchase silencers, under the guise of protecting hunters’ hearing from explosive damage. You know what, hunters? Wear some goddamn ear plugs. What if Stephen Paddock had silencers on his weapons? How many more hundreds would have been murdered in that situation? The raw carnage would have been staggering.
3. Then, tell Mitch and Paul to do something about the purchase of semi-automatic weapons, which can be converted into fully automatic machine guns. We all heard Mr. Paddock’s full tilt automatic burp guns going bap bap bap bap rapid fire, as he basically shot human fish in a party barrel.
“‘No way to prevent this,’ says the one nation where this regularly happens,” as the Onion reports. I realize that step 3 is a complete fantasy. How sad is that? The Rethuglican Party is so in bed with the National Rifle Association that there’s not a snowball’s chance that any meaningful restrictive weapon legislation will be introduced in either chamber. This is horribly depressing. Think about the level of corruption on display. It’s appalling. The Republicans of D.C would rather please their gun-sucking masters than protect us from getting slaughtered by psychos. Why do people keep voting for these assholes? So to hell with your limp prayers and condolences. They’re worthless! Do something, fercrissake!
But since nothing will happen, the only thing we can do is accept this mass murder and accept that it will happen again. Fine. Wonderful. Might be a good time to just avoid big crowds. Screw it. You say with that attitude, the terrorists win? Agreed. I’m just surprised that the terrorists turned out to look just like me.