The Return of the List

Desperate for some fun, RN&R editors compile minutia into easily digestible chunks of useless trivia

Aren’t there days when you get up in the morning and say, “Screw all that thumbsuckin’, serious, brow-furrowing baloney”? Several weeks ago, editors at the World Headquarters of the Reno News & Review were cogitating on fun things we hadn’t done in a while (LIST: fishing, Samantha, hang gliding, skipping stones, Twister and the List Issue). Looking for a little mental rest and relaxation and free association, we sharpened up our pencils, pulled out our refrigerator magnets and refrigerator and sat down to play.

Flowers to plant next year
Mexican primrose
Blanket flower
Morning glories
Russian sage
Black-eyed Susan

Top 10 favorite Bob Dylan songs (no order)
“Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right”
“Buckets of Rain”
“Tangled up in Blue”
“Motorpsycho Nitemare”
“Tomorrow is a Long Time”
“One Too Many Mornings”
“It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue”
“Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie”
“Shelter from the Storm”
“You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go”

Things I use all the time that I never thought of using 15 years ago
The internet
DVD player
Digital camera
Cell phone
Tea kettle
Reusable bag at grocers
Recycling bin

Movies I loved as a kid and now realize are stupid
Grease II
Pump up the Volume
Rocky IV
Road House

This week’s meal plan
Sunday: Taco dip salad at mom’s
Monday: Chicken divan, with mixed green and pear salad
Tues: leftovers
Wed: Apple-sage pork tenderloin with candied acorn squash and Brussels sprouts; apple slices and caramel for dessert (company’s comin’)
Thurs: Spinach, leek, potato soup with sourdough bread
Fri: go out
Sat: I can’t think this far ahead

Vitamins and supplements I take daily
Green tea extract
Centrum Silver
Alpha Lipoic Acid
Fish oil
Sugar Free Metamucil

Things I keep putting off
Putting sealant on the patio chairs
Painting the dining room
Changing my address with the DMV
Buying and sending Kat and Jake’s wedding present
Changing my beneficiary designation
Washing my car
Listening to a certain tape recorded more than two years ago
Buying wall art
Cleaning the shower
Recycling the plastic bags in my car trunk

Five good novels by local writers
A Cold War Story by Jim Conkey
Desert Gothic by Don Waters
Lift by Rebecca K. O’Connor
Shadows of Death by David Sundstrand
The Sinful Life of Lucy Burns by Elizabeth Leiknes

Businesses I miss in Reno
Vino Reno: the best fondue in town, great atmosphere, reasonable price. Please come back!
La Bussola: somehow Port of Subs just doesn’t take its place
Liv: elegant, eco-friendly boutique on Cal Ave that didn’t make it
Clay Nichols: elegant, artsy boutique on Cal Ave that didn’t make it

10 songs with ‘Reno’ in the title
Donna Jean Godchaux, “Reno”
Guttermouth, “I Read It On A Bathroom Wall In Reno”
John Loudermilk, “Rocks Of Reno”
Lacy J. Dalton and Sousa Beans, “Reno And Me”
R.E.M., “All The Way To Reno (You’re Gonna Be A Star)”
Rocky Votolato, “The Wrong Side Of Reno”
Suicide Note, “Reno and Blood”
Tony Christie, “Don’t Go Down To Reno”
Too Much Joy, “Thanksgiving In Reno”
Woody Guthrie, “Reno Blues (Philadelphia Lawyer)”

10 Reno divorce movies that aren’t The Misfits
The Divorcee (1917) Mary Anderson
Merry Wives of Reno (1934) Glenda Farrell
Next Time I Marry (1938) Lucille Ball
Mexican Spitfire Out West (1940) Lupe Velez
Maisie Goes to Reno (1944) Ann Southern
Vacation in Reno (1946) Anne Jeffreys
Phffft! (1954) Judy Holliday
The Opposite Sex (1956) June Allyson
Desert Hearts (1985) Helen Shaver
Edie & Pen (1996) Stockard Channing

Ingredients disclosed to the public in a Coca-Cola
Carbonated water
High fructose corn syrup
Phosphoric acid
Caramel color
Natural flavors

5 Words I Try Not to Use
1. Ironic
2. Utilize
3. Being
4. Bro
5. Interesting

5 Words I Use as Often As Possible
1. Vagina
2. Love
3. Wu-Tang
4. Brother
5. Sister

Books that Amazon is sending me right now.
Low Moon
The Living and The Dead
The Left Bank Gang

Ideas for my next tattoo
Illustrations from comic book artist Jason
Logo from the band Andrew Bird’s Bowl of Fire.
“Free Pres2” written on my knuckles, the “s2” written on the same knuckle.
Skeleton wearing a fedora, drinking a beer and sitting on top of a typewriter.
Fahrenheit 451’s 50th anniversary cover.

Last 10 places I used my debit card
Jimmy Johns
Save Mart
Pub N’ Sub
Taco Del Mar
Century 12
Ben’s Liquor
Hollywood Video
BART (in San Francisco)
The Little Waldorf Saloon
Se7en Teahouse and Bar

Things I plan to do this weekend in chronological order
Play racquetball
Play Magic: The Gathering
Play Dungeons and Dragons
Go to a house cooling party
Go to the beer crawl
Play racquetball, again
Go to my parents’ house to do laundry
Get penny burgers at the Little Waldorf Saloon

Unanswered Facebook requests
Friend requests:
Christopher Lu
Alex Gardner
Event invitations:
“The Voice Box Radio Show Joint Homecoming 2009 Broadcast”
“Beatnik Party”
“Reno Beer Crawl: Halloween Homecoming edition”
Page suggestions:
“The Daily Sparks Tribune”

Unused Ideas for Lists
1. Songs I Want Played at My Funeral
2. Songs I Want Played at My Wedding
3. Songs I Want Played Tonight When I Get Home from Work
4. Celebrities I Wouldn’t Mind My Fiancée Sleeping With
5. Celebrities I Wouldn’t Want My Fiancée to be Mad at Me for Sleeping With
6. Bands I Wish I Could’ve Seen
7. Bands I Still Need to See
8. Best Bands I’ve Seen
9. Best Meals in Reno
10. People in Reno I’d Like to Know Better

Top 20 Most Played Songs on my iPod
1. “Ain’t to Proud to Beg,” The Temptations
2. “Bo Diddley,” Bo Diddley
3. “Mona,” Bo Diddley
4. “Big Bird,” Eddie Floyd
5. “Spazz,” The Elastik Band
6. “My 1st Song,” Jay-Z
7. “Alone Again Or,” Love
8. “Talk Talk,” The Music Machine
9. “15 Steps,” Radiohead
10. “Rip This Joint,” The Rolling Stones
11. “Hey Girl, Don’t Bother Me,” The Tams
12. “My Girls,” Animal Collective
13. “Moulty,” The Barbarians
14. “Cheyla Ya Haiuune,” Group Doueh
15. “Primitive,” The Groupies
16. “Shadowboxin,’” GZA
17. “A House is Not a Motel,” Love
18. “Shake Your Hips,” The Rolling Stones
19. “I Zimbra,” Talking Heads
20. “Here ’Tis,” Bo Diddley

Unread books and magazines on my nightstand
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips
The Misfits by Arthur Miller
Best of Alt Weekly Writing and Design 2008 by Heather Kuldell and JonWhiten
Dark Ages America by Morris Berman

Read books and magazines on my nightstand
Where The Girls Are: Urban Lesbian Erotica by D.L. King
Men’s Health April 2008
Men’s Health September 2008
Men’s Health November 2008
Men’s Health October 2008
Best Life October 2008
Reno Passport September 2009

Ten local organizations of which you’ve probably never heard
Honorary Deputy Sheriff’s Association:
Turkish Cultural Association:
The Reno Blues Society, for music lovers, not depressed people.:
ProNet, an organization for unemployed professionals:
Nevada Judicial Historical Society, for followers of court history: <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">{ document.write(String.fromCharCode(60,97,32,104,114,101,102,61,34,109,97,105,108,116,111,58,115,117,115,111,117,116,104,64,121,97,104,111,111,46,99,111,109,34,62,115,117,115,111,117,116,104,64,121,97,104,111,111,46,99,111,109,60,47,97,62)) } </script>
American Society of Trainers and Developers/Sierra Nevada Chapter, for workplace trainers:
American Disc Jockey Association/Reno-Lake Tahoe Chapter:
Nevada Landmen’s Association, to cultivate ethics and professionalism in mining and dialogue between the industry and government:
Nevada Green Party:
Andean Explorers Foundation & Ocean Sailing Club: 348-1818

25 Things That Annoy Me
1. The Dave Matthews Band
2. The dead tree in my backyard
3. The lack of money in my bank account
4. Haters who refuse to acknowledge the global importance of hip-hop
5. In the RN&R list issue from February 2007, in a list of sexually suggestive song lyrics, somebody wrote “I’m your backdoor man” and credited it to The Doors, even though Willie Dixon wrote that song and Howling Wolf was the first to record it
6. Coworkers who whistle despite an inability to carry a tune
7. Hunger, both global and personal
8. The 20 extra pounds of fat I’ve been lugging around the last couple of years
9. Having to get out of bed before 10 a.m.
10. Yard work
11. Shitty covers of good songs
12. The Eagles
13. People who assume I’m a religious zealot, or make jokes to that effect, just because I have beard
14. Racism, homophobia and intolerance
15. The nagging feeling I have right now that there are important annoyances I’m forgetting
16. Biters, imitators and copycats
17. Redundancy
18. Health problems
19. Health insurance companies
20. People who refuse to take responsibility for their own farts
21. How much I love McNuggets
22. Hangovers that seem disproportionate to the amount of alcohol consumed the previous evening
23. Napoleon Dynamite
24. Misuse of the word “penultimate”
25. Bell peppers