The naked truth
Results of the 2008 RN&R Sex Survey
We admit it, we’re nosy bastards, and, like most humans, fascinated by sex. So like any good reporters, we poked our noses into some places some people might say they doesn’t belong. Not to be outdone, 101 of our sexiest readers—and someone pretending to be Larry Craig—bore all in RN&R’s first sex survey.
Warning: This is not one for the kiddies. So get the bath running, because when you’re done reading this, you may feel a little dirty. And then you and your partner can have a long … hot … moist … sudsy bath.
You may notice not all of the answers add up to 100 percent; that’s because some of you didn’t answer, answered vaguely, or think we can’t recognize a jokester when we see one.
Let’s get to it, the naked truth:
Who are these people, anyway?
We said this was an anonymous survey, and so it was, but there are a few things we do know.
Respondents were split, 47 percent men and 54 percent women. As for age ranges, 38 percent were between ages 19-29, 45 percent were 30-50, and 19 percent were 50-70. Our youngest tell-all was 19; our oldest was 70.
They’re a middle-class bunch. Of those who gave their salaries, 12 percent made less than $30,000; 52 percent made $30,000-$60,000; 35 percent made more than $60,000.
Twelve percent were gay or bisexual.
Most people are in some sort of relationship. Thirty-nine percent were single; 30 percent were married; and 32 percent were in a “committed relationship.”
Of the 40 people with kids, 87 percent had one or two children.
Of those who answered the question, only 50 percent of our respondents use birth control (not that odd when same-sex or she-on-the-pill-he-not-using-anything-type factors are considered). The most popular was the pill (34 percent), followed by condoms (28 percent), and vasectomy (18 percent).
Most have some sort of spiritual faith, whether they’re “religious” (16 percent) or “spiritual” (46 percent). Twenty percent were agnostic, and 15 percent were atheist.
Eighteen have had an STD, usually HPV (9), followed by chlamydia (4), genital warts (3), the clap (does anyone still call it that?; 1), and gonorrhea (1). Thirty-eight percent worry about getting an STD, while only 55 percent of those who’ve actually had one, worry about getting another one.
Satisfy my love
The good news is that nearly everyone (93 percent) say they enjoy sex “immensely.” Three sourpusses think it’s “overrated,” though even two of them still enjoy sex immensely.
And yet, only 46 percent were satisfied with their sex lives. Thirty-six percent are unsatisfied, and 18 percent wouldn’t tell us either way. Twenty-seven percent wish foreplay lasted longer. Of those satisfied, nine wish foreplay lasted longer, while 45 percent of the unsatisfied wish their lovers’ would take their prep work more seriously.
If we painted a picture of the most sexually satisfied person in Reno, they would be a gay or bisexual male between the ages of 19 and 29. Sixty-seven percent of gay or bisexual respondents were satisfied with their sex lives. The committed people are also pretty content (62 percent satisfied), followed by married people (50 percent) and singles (45 percent). Men and women are equally satisfied, at 46 percent each.
Fifty-eight percent of people ages 19-29 are satisfied, with only 33 percent of the 30-50 crowd and 31 percent of people over 50 satisfied.
The most unsatisfied person would be a single, straight woman (50 percent of them unsatisfied), age 50 or older. Thirty-six percent of married straight women and 30 percent of committed straight males are also not so satisfied.
Are you excited?
Thirty-three percent of respondents consider their sex lives exciting. Forty-five percent sleep naked, and, 62 percent of those nude sleepers say they have exciting, satisfactory sex lives. Hmmm …
The most popular time of day to have sex is at night on a weekend, taking over half of responses. Twenty-four percent love good morning sex, 14 percent like the weekdays, and 3 percent enjoy a midday nooner.
We find it hard to believe, but only 67 percent say they think about sex every day. It’s hard-to-quantify, but 34 percent said they think of it one-to-five times a day, 12 percent think of it 10-20 times a day, 13 percent think about it more than 20 times a day, and 15 percent gave vague answers like “a helluva lot,” “constantly” and “every time I take a dump” (thank you, Larry Craig).
Eighty-one percent feel comfortable talking about sex. But only 64 percent are comfortable with their body. Women between the ages of 19 and 30 make up 31 percent of the uncomfortable), and men ages 31 to 60 make up 29 percent.
Are you adventurous?
Thirty-percent consider themselves “very adventurous.” (Looking at the “Have-you-ever” section, it seems more than that). Sixty-two percent are “somewhat adventurous,” while 2 percent call themselves “prudes.”
Seventy-eight percent think they’re good in bed, while 24 percent say they have “a lot to learn” under the covers. Thirteen percent think they’re good in bed but also have a lot to learn. (These are probably the folks who are truly good in bed.) Two percent say they’re lousy lovers, with one of the lousy saying they’re bad but have a lot to learn. It seems the other lousy person has given up hope of improvement.
People disagree as to what “having sex” actually is. Sixty-three percent consider oral sex and hand jobs as sex.
Three percent say you should only have sex if you’re married—all of these people were married, two were “religious” and one “spiritual.” Everyone else says premarital sex is just fine. Ninety-three percent have no problem with homosexuals having sex. Of the 7 percent who do, six are “religious” and one “spiritual.”
Most respondents, 60 percent, don’t think a good relationship is required for good sex. Only 27 percent think sex always brings couples closer together. And I know we’re close to Utah and all, but 28 percent think “polygamy could be cool.”
Of those with current partners, 23 percent have been together less than a year, 44 percent were together two-10 years, 11 percent were 11-20 years, and 4 percent were together more than 20 years. The most was a 50-year marriage by a 67-year-old woman who thought sex always brought couples closer together and that good sex required a good relationship. She was also, unfortunately, unsatisfied with her sex life.
How often do you have sex?
Readers are not having enough sex. Of those who responded, 35 percent do it once or twice a week; 38 percent have sex three-to-five times a week. Only 12 percent report having sex more than six times a week. Twelve percent aren’t having it at all.
Forty-five percent use sex toys. For 8 percent (all of whom were between age 42 and 67) either they or their partner takes an erectile dysfunction drug.
Twenty-percent say their partners want sex more often than they do, while 33 percent say they want it more than their partner. Sixty-eight percent speak up when they like what their lover is doing to their body, but only 11 percent say when they don’t like it.
Most people had sex for the first time when they were between 16- and 20-years-old (57 percent), and 16 percent of them thought that was too young. Thirty-two percent lost their virginity between ages 12-15, and 72 percent of them thought that was too young. Six percent waited until they were past 20. The youngest loss of virginity was age 12, and the oldest was 26.
Just 1 percent had only one sexual partner in their life. More common was 2-9 partners (28 percent), 10-30 partners (36 percent), and 30-75 partners (22 percent). Ten percent claimed to have slept with more than 100 people, the highest being more than 500, which was someone who lost their virginity at age 13.
Two percent regret having sex with all of their partners, while 36 percent have no regrets. Thirteen percent regret 1 percent; 23 percent regret 10-20 percent; 17 percent regret 30-50 percent, and 1 percent regrets having sex with 50-99 percent of their partners.
Your cheatin’ heart
More than half, 53 percent, have cheated. The biggest reasons for cheating were simply to have sex, pleasure or excitement (21 percent.) For others, the cheater was either bored, unfulfilled or felt neglected in their relationship (19 percent). Seventeen percent say they “didn’t know” why they cheated, while 15 percent say the relationship was bad and already seemed to be over. Other reasons included long-distance relationships, “I was drunk,” “I was young,” “revenge,” or they were in love with someone else.
Meanwhile, 61 percent have fantasized about cheating, and 24 percent who haven’t cheated thought they probably could. Sixty percent consider kissing cheating, and 49 percent have kissed someone else while in a committed relationship. Of those who say kissing is not cheating (32 percent), 82 percent have kissed someone else while in a committed relationship.
Ninety-two percent of people think a handjob or oral sex from someone other than your partner is cheating, and 17 percent have done it. Of those who say it’s not cheating, 71 percent have done it.
About have of the cheating experiences had positive outcomes, and half had negative ones.
Despite all this, 89 percent believe monogamy is possible. Yet, only 41 percent think monogamy is natural.
Ninety-six percent admit to having any sort of fantasy. The most popular were having sex in public (63 percent), group sex (61 percent), sex at school or work (52 percent), role-playing (50 percent), sex with an authority figure (31 percent), and cheating (26 percent).
Sixty-three percent discuss these fantasies with their partner.
The most popular turn-ons are pretty tame. More than 80 percent are turned on by eyes and kissing. Seventy-eight percent vote for smile and a sense of humor. Sixty percent love heavy petting and massage. More than 50 percent are into talking dirty, watching others have sex, breasts and genitals, and they are most into people their own age. More than 40 percent find talent, shaved genitals, lingerie and doing it in front of the mirror to be major turn-ons. More than 30 percent are into someone younger and being watched while having sex. More than 20 percent are turned on by someone older, submissive or by various fetishes. Sixteen percent think money and power is hot. Fifteen percent like someone dominant, 13 percent are into masochism, and 10 percent are into sadism.
Does size matter?
Thirty-five percent say penis size matters, and yes, they want it bigger rather than smaller. Eighteen percent say breast size matters, though “smaller” actually carried six more votes than “bigger.”
Respondents were most attracted to people who are trim but not skinny (65 percent). Twenty-one percent want someone slightly overweight; 5 percent prefer skinny partners. Thirty-seven percent say they don’t care about body type if they have a good personality, while 22 percent give a preference but also say personality could win over body type.
And the best sexual position is …
Doggie style. Thirty-three percent of respondents think so, followed by woman-on-top (28 percent). Seventeen percent have their own special favorite (reverse cowgirl, reverse doggy, the sleeping dog—are we in yoga class?). Only 13 percent think the missionary position is the best way to go.
Masturbation. Fifty percent of those who answered started doing it between the ages of 11 and 15. Seven percent started between age 1 (1?!) and 5, while 21 percent were age 6-10. Seven percent were 16- to 20-years-old, and 10 percent didn’t get around to touching themselves until they were well past 20-years-old.
Seventy-seven percent have masturbated in front of someone.
Of legitimate answers, 47 percent say they masturbate more than three times a week; 40 percent do one-to-three times per week; 7 percent do it more than once a day; 8 percent masturbate one-to-three times a month, and 3 percent only do it one-to-three times a year.
During masturbation, 71 percent fantasize about their current lover (How sweet! Now go find them!). Forty-five percent think about porn, followed by a former lover (38 percent), a crush (33 percent), a stranger (30 percent), a co-worker or friend (19 percent each), a celebrity (9 percent), or, ahem, themselves (8 percent). We’re very proud of everyone for not receiving a single answer about fantasizing about a family member. [page]
Forty-six percent own a vibrator, including a bisexual man and a gay man. Seventy percent of all women respondents own a vibrator.
Women had the most interesting answers for the “strangest thing” they’ve ever masturbated with. Making the list are various electronic appliances (electric razor, toothbrush, flosser), vegetables and food stuffs (zucchini, hot dog, raw bacon) and things like a broomstick, beer bottle and shampoo bottle. Some men’s answers included a baseball mitt, vacuum cleaner, watermelon and a stuffed monkey.
For the strangest places they ever masturbated, public bathrooms took it at 43 percent of respondents, be they at work, school, or a friend’s house. Other favorites were vehicles (19 percent), with four responders masturbating while driving, and public transportation (13 percent), on buses, trains or airplanes. Three percent did it with unsuspecting friends or family in the room.
The big O
Yeah! Nearly everyone (97 percent) has had an orgasm. And 66 percent can have multiple orgasms. Forty-seven percent had their first orgasm between age 11 and 15. Twenty-eight percent had it between 16- and 20-years-old. Eighteen percent claimed they got the pleasant surprise between age 5 and 10; while 7 percent finally felt what all the fuss was about past the age of 20. Among our respondents, the youngest age to reach orgasm was age 5; the oldest was 40.
Fifty-five percent of respondents have faked it. Forty-four percent “always” have an orgasm during sex, 38 percent sometimes do, 10 percent rarely do, and 4 percent can’t have an orgasm vaginally. Sixty-five percent of males who answered can always reach orgasm, while only 25 percent of women could say the same.
Take me higher
When it’s just them with their thoughts (or vibrator), most people can climax while masturbating in five minutes or less (75 percent). Twenty-six percent take 6 to 15 minutes. One percent couldn’t reach orgasm when masturbating.
When having sex with a partner, most people took more time to orgasm. This was either because they were enjoying each other and in no rush, or the partner was less adept than their own hands. Sixty-nine percent took five to 30 minutes, while 29 percent still only need five minutes or less.
Porn and E-sex
Seventy percent watch it, and 51 percent watch it with their partner. Of the 31 people who say they hide it, snoopers can find it in a closet (32 percent), computer (32 percent), or in a chest or dresser drawer (22 percent).
Seventy-three percent have visited a sex website. Of 34 legitimate responses, 18 percent visit a sex site every day, 26 percent go one-to-five times a week, 23 percent say one-to-five times a month, 18 percent visit one-to-five times a year, and 15 percent say they’ve only been to an online sex site once or twice in their lives.
Twenty-one percent have hung out in a sex chat room. Of these, 28 percent went there once or twice in their life, 14 percent visited “several times” and 19 percent visit “rarely.” Four percent each chatted yearly or monthly.
Nine percent of responders have solicited sex online.
The car and bathroom obsession arise again with the “weirdest place I’ve had sex” question. Twenty percent of 80 legitimate answers were related to cars, be they driving, the back of a pick-up or on the top of the hood. Ten percent were related to public restrooms, and 11 percent were somewhere outdoors. The weirdest answers in our book include a porta-potty, jungle gym, a tree, couch in boss’s office, Ikea, trampoline, and “grandma’s closet.” You all are naughty!
At 17 percent, the beach was the most popular answer for the most romantic place they had sex, followed by the wilderness or camping trip (16 percent) and a far-off place like Venice, Cancun or Paris (11 percent). Other answers included a hot tub, shower, hotel/casino, and a handful of people said “my boyfriend’s bed.”
Have you ever …
You all look so innocent, and yet:
Most respondents have had sex in a parked car (88 percent), in the woods (76 percent), in public (74 percent), and in a moving car (59 percent). Some have had sex in the park (43 percent), at work (36 percent), in their parents’ bed (33 percent), a bar (31 percent), at the movies (20 percent), at Burning Man (12 percent) and on an airplane (7 percent).
Every single one of our survey takers has had oral sex. Nearly everyone has had vaginal sex (93 percent). Most people have had a hand job (84 percent), anal sex (74 percent), sex on a first date (74 percent), titty-fucking (72 percent), drunk sex (70 percent), visited a Reno sex shop (68 percent), tasted their own juices (65 percent), had rebound sex (53 percent), had sex with a stranger (52 percent), and had something stuck up their butt (50 percent).
Quite a handful of people have eaten food off their lovers’ body (47 percent; whipped cream and chocolate being popular edibles), had a rim job (46 percent), a threesome (46 percent), sucked someone’s toes (41 percent), had a friend’s lover come on to them (40 percent), had a homosexual experience (37 percent, while only 12 percent of responders consider themselves gay or bisexual), and paid for sex (29 percent).
The cream of the sexual deviancy crop had sex when they were high on drugs (21 percent), an accidental pregnancy (20 percent), participated in fisting (19 percent), watched someone having sex (19 percent), slept with a famous person (13 percent), been paid for sex (9 percent), had sex that included a non-human animal (4 percent) and cross dressed (3 percent).
‘This year, I tried for the first time …’
A new tasty blowjob cream, anal sex, being celibate, “tit-fucking (unsuccessfully),” deep throating, masturbating with a shower head, total commitment, an old person, strap-on sex, dressing-room sex, licking wine off a body, a cock ring, not having sex, fisting, fingering, honesty, 9-volt batteries. Whew!
The most erotic, non-porn film awards
The most votes went to:
• Body Heat: A heat wave, a lover and a murder. Sounds hot to us. Stars William Hurt and Kathleen Turner. (1981)
• 9 ½ Weeks: Art, obsession and lots of sex, starring Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke. (1986)
• Secretary: James Spader proves to be a pleasant pain in Maggie Gyllenhaal’s ass when she’s hired as his secretary in this sadomasochistic dark comedy. (2002)
• Brokeback Mountain: Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal provide a new take on cowboy sexiness, love, obligation and an inhospitable world. (2005)
Other answers: Y Tu Mama Tambien, Cruel Intentions, Mulholland Drive, The Notebook, Interview with a Vampire, The Lover, Like Water for Chocolate, Wild Things, Ninth Gate, The Dreamers, Sex and Lucia, Immortal Beloved, The Piano, Run Lola Run, Romeo and Juliet, Unfaithful, Showgirls, Liebestraum, Quills and The Fox.
So that’s it, all you naughty boys and girls.
And to anyone from the Keep Reno Dirty campaign, rest assured, we’re doing fine.