The Last Thing He Wanted

Rated 1.0

Holy hell, is this ever a bad movie. I mean, it’s bad. Like, really, really, really, really, really bad. Anne Hathaway trudges through this adaptation of Joan Didion’s novel, a movie that casts her as an ’80s reporter who MUST KNOW THE TRUTH. Fed up with boring stories involving Reagan’s reelection campaign, she winds up going all over the world, simultaneously trying to help her crazy daddy (Willem DaFoe, whose character is supposed to be sickly, but man, he’s never looked better in a movie—quite vibrant!) and, I think, trying to blow the lid of the Contra scandal. I say “I think” because, honestly, I have no fucking idea what was going on in this stupid movie. Ben Affleck shows up as a creepy diplomat who eats pie and eventually goes to bed with Hathaway’s character because, well, actually I don’t know why that happens either. Hathaway is reduced to extensive phone acting scenes, where she is really concerned or very upset or totally angry and, gosh darn it, she’s on the phone when it’s happening. Hey, if you can figure out what’s going on in this movie, you have my respect. Wait, maybe not. If you can follow this movie you might be as messed up as this movie is. Actually, if you like this movie you might not want to talk to me. Chances are we won’t connect on any social or intellectual level. We are from different worlds, you and I. (Streaming on Netflix.)