The Hitcher

A remake of the kooky 1986 cult classic, Sean Bean replaces Rutger Hauer as a demented hitchhiker with a death wish. This time out, there are two victims instead of one. Sophia Bush and Zachary Knighton combined don’t have half the charisma of the original film’s star, C. Thomas Howell. (Now that’s bad news!) Director Dave Meyers copies a lot of key moments from the original, and it comes off as desperate. Sean Bean is a poor man’s Rutger Hauer, playing the part as straight-up psycho rather than mysterious and aloof, like Hauer. Bean didn’t have to copy Hauer, but surely he could’ve come up with something more original than the phoned-in performance he delivers here. Michael Bay has been producing some rather putrid horror remakes (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), and its time he stopped—right now.