The hand on the button

If you think the New York Times is fake news, well, pardon my haughty condescension, but you’ve gone foxic, pal. Interventions, rehab and intense reprogramming featuring at least a week’s worth of Rachel Maddow are now called for. We can only hope it’s not too late. Although it obviously is.

Speaking of the NYT, it recently described the first month of Twitler as “an inept White House led by a celebrity apprentice.” Bill Maher’s description of Trump’s press conference was also on target. He called it a “77 minute brain fart.” Of the many memorable lines to surface in that surreal performance, I was comforted by Trump’s description of “a nuclear holocaust being like no other.” As Inquisitor magazine noted, “good to know Trump’s been briefed.”

Twitler wasn’t finished with nukes. “We had Hillary Clinton give Russia 20 percent of the uranium in our country. You know what uranium is, right? It’s this thing called nuclear weapons. And other things. Like lots of things are done with uranium. Including some bad things.”

This is the analysis of a 4th grader. Can you Trumplodytes not see this? Are you in this much of an OJ-like state of denial? Can you not see this is the commentary of an imbecile? I mean an imbecile imbecile, the definition of which is “a retarded person with the mental capacity of a child between 3 and 8 years old.” Only the IOTUS just also happens to be in charge of 10,000 nukes.

• No surprise that Dean Heller voted for every asshole in Trump’s Cabinet of Horrors. Would somebody please just vaporize this Megatool next year when he runs for re-election?

Speaking of assholes, the phrase “you fucking asshole” is the second most commonly heard comment these days in my TV den. The first is, of course, “Fuck you, Trump.” Sound familiar? Same thing at your place?

• A notable tweet seen recently—“For 8 years, we had a president who treated all with respect, worked hard every day, and embodied leadership and inspiration.” How horribly, stunningly, frightfully quickly it has all gone down the toilet.

• Seriously, it’s now time for media pushback. You wanna try and de-legitimize a free press, Twitler? Fine. Two can play that game, and right now, pal, your legitimacy is a bit shakier than the media’s. It’s just a matter of time before the media goes full blast on instant fact checking as a part of all coverage of Trump coverage. If you’re a fact checker, rejoice. You’re gonna be employed and overworked in 2017.