That election gas price drop

As you read these words, you likely have no idea what the future holds for the American Eekonomic Situation. (If you do, please send me a brief, coherent e-mail!) Are we headed for a prolonged recession? A new depression? An inspiring rebound? The creation of the “One World Economy?” (One of the reasons I save magazines for a year is because, when things are slow and the weather’s bad, it’s sorta fun to go back a few months, read what various pundits were predicting, and take note of the high percentage of those calls that were just plain OFF).

As you try to figure it all out in order to determine which path you should travel in order to make the most hay in this wackily unpredictable time, do remember the following. Four months ago, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, was predicting that the price of a barrel of crude oil would fall below $60 by November (as I write this, the price now stands at 57 bucks.) Back in July, would you have believed any expert/pundit who said, “Everybody calm down on this $5 a gallon hysteria. Take a pill and relax. Come November, you’ll be buying gas for two bucks a gallon.”

And yet, here we are. The point being this: When things seem to be set in concrete, oftentimes, the concrete has a nasty habit of (1) eroding into rubble, (2) blowing up. Two years ago, did you think your house’s worth was gonna be cut in half? This is about as bold as I dare get in terms of eekonomic prognostication. I mean, dang, I’m the guy who sold off a mutual fund back in July, not because I saw the sub-prime meltdown coming, but because I thought Bush was gonna attack Iran and all petro-hell was gonna break loose! (My crystal ball obviously needs to be rinsed, degreased, and pressure washed.) Indeed, the eekonomy having its main seizure when it did had two positive effects, imho. One, it pretty much sunk the U.S.S. McCain. Two, it kept the boys at Bushco Central Headquarters busy enough to where they just didn’t have time to put the final touches on “Operation Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran.”)


Not many are willing to crab about modern mutations to the English language. I am proud to be one of the curmudgeonly few. (Dadgummit, I never thought I would grow up to be … a square!) That said, let us then concur that Todd Palin drives a goddamn snowmobile. Okay? What is this snow machine jazz? And when that big cloud comes in from the ocean and settles on coastal towns, it’s still OK to call that stuff fog, right? Isn’t it? I mean, what oracle of political correctness decreed that fog morph into “the marine layer?” Finally, it would appear that “pass” has now become the nation’s favorite new death synonym. Fercrissake, doesn’t anybody die anymore?