Stumpin' for Trump

The Donald can become the Ross Perot of 2016, and Democrats should encourage him to do just that.

Maybe he can be persuaded to put Assemblymember Michele Fiore, R-Gomorrah South, on the vice-presidential ticket. Or adopt her. Anything to get her out of Nevada.

Why support serial bankruptcy practitioner Trump? Because he’s Nevada’s kind of huckster. Sharron Angle without religion. Michele Fiore without conviction. He sports Vegas hair in the grandest tradition of Democratic LV Mayor Jan Jones and defrocked Republican Nevada U.S. Senator John Ensign.

Yes, that’s a cheap shot. Sometimes, cheap shots are the only shots you get. This billionaire’s entire campaign is cheap shots, and he’s winning. On the cheap. That’s some kinda fiscal conservatism.

So join Democrats for Trump, an extremely democratic but deregulated dis-organization. We accept Republicans, Independents, Whigs, Tories, Labourites, Jacobins, Jacobites, Socialists, Confederates, Communists, anarchists (a.k.a. Libertarians) and even Mugwumps. (Does that make us Trumpwumps?)

The first thing to do when launching a campaign is to think branding, like on a horse’s rump. This is nothing if not a rump movement, after all. (Go look up the origin of “mugwump.”)

A bridge would be the logical logo of Democrats for Trump. A trump is a very positive term in the card game of bridge. Mr. Trump is a notorious gambler in all his business ventures, whether in Atlantic City, New York, Las Vegas or U.S. Bankruptcy Court.

Alas, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie considers bridges his personal political trademark. I don’t want to irritate the big guy who apparently wants to have his cake and eat it, too.

Cake. That’s it!

The Democrats for Trump logo should be a very enriched five-layer cake—a white layer on the bottom for the base of the Republican Party, another white layer on top for the successful, over-achieving winners The Donald most respects. The middle layers should be chocolate, yellow and red velvet so that all voter demographics are covered. Some frosting can be green as a sop to global warming hoaxers.

All logo design suggestions welcome. Submit or join up at

This is serious stuff. I’m kidding and not kidding at the same time, proving that in politics, you really can have it both ways. Witness Donald Trump.

It’s time to saddle up and laugh Nevada back to reality. Democrats for Trump is perfectly positioned to capitalize on the seething apathy that served the great unwashed so well at the 2015 legislative session.

Consider this a homeopathic remedy for Campaign 2016: treating burgeoning insanity with more of the same, a hair-of-the-dog kinda thing for when politics becomes a real bitch.

Trumpwumps of the world, unite.

Be well. Raise hell. Esté bien. Haga fierno.