Stoking the fires over global warming

In the past two weeks, your never-humble host has been inundated by some Truckee Meadows scientists pooh-poohing my latest comments about global warming. (See the Letters section at for the last two weeks if you’re interested in reading them.)

Suffice it to say, most were solidly in the “Right Hook is a heretic” camp because I had the unmitigated gall to question the conclusion that we are in the throes of global warming, and it is the end of days unless we mend our ways.

Liberals love to claim our civil liberties have been eroded by the Great Satan George W. Bush, but in the same breath and out the other side of their mouths seem to have no problem telling me what sort of vehicle I should or should not be driving.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I am an environmentalist. Or more precisely, I’m down with conservation, which is at least consistent with all things “conservative.” Conserve energy. Conserve resources. Conserve money. This makes perfectly reasonable business sense—among conservatives who understand business.

In any event, you will perhaps forgive my questioning the alarm bells being rung by a former vice-president who, at one time or another, claimed to have invented the Internet, had his presidential bid “stolen,” and paid feminist author Naomi Wolf $150 to help him get in touch with his feminine side. Oh, yes, and dropping out of both divinity and law school doesn’t exactly rank him up there with Albert Einstein or Abraham Lincoln. Yet his supporters view him as some intellectual giant because he once wrote a book.

Newsflash: Gore’s ability to articulate a message is not an indication of his intelligence any more than Bush’s inability to do the same is any indication of his lack of it. (Intelligence, I mean.) Actually, if you wish to compare them, consider this: Of the two men, which one was smart enough to get himself elected and subsequently re-elected president in two of the most hotly contested elections in the Republic’s history?

Even assuming Mr. Environment is sincere in his beliefs, no one has yet to answer my assertion. Namely, isn’t it somewhat disingenuous to take roughly 4.5 billion years worth of planetary history and extrapolate planetary climates based on a few millennia of data (and questionable data at that)?

But even if the theory of global warming is correct, so what? As I understand one theory, the dinosaurs went extinct because of global cooling. Are dinosaurs due for a comeback? Perhaps so. Consider this, courtesy of

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

• Liquid Plummer: Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

• Windex: Do not spray in eyes.

• Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter: Safe to use around pets.

• Bowl Fresh: Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

• Endust Duster: This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commission Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

• Baby Oil: Keep out of reach of children.

• Little Ones Baby Lotion: Keep away from children.

• Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping.

• Wet-Nap: Directions: Tear open packet and use.

• Dial Soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

• Stridex Foaming Face Wash: May contain foam.

Perhaps global warming has an upside that science never anticipated.