Skyrocketing premiums or ‘socialism’?
“Meanwhile, in the corner of the room, the Republicans huddled together, slowly but steadily chewing off the tips of their fingers …”
So what lessons might young impressionables have picked up from the recent scandals of infidelity surrounding Gov. Sanford, Sen. Ensign, and whomever it was who got busted last week with his hands in his intern’s shorts? I’m guessing it might be: Don’t get married. Not, at least, if you’re going into politics. Young folk now can see that by getting married, you leave yourself wide open for big problems when comes the time that you succumb to those persistent and inevitable biological urges filed under the general heading of “tearin’ off some strange.” Sure, not everybody succumbs. But many do. And millions must have noticed by now that, gee, if these guys weren’t married, they wouldn’t have to (a) be deballed in public, and (b) grovel endlessly in order to hang on to whatever it is to which they want to hang. Therefore, the simple solution: stay single.
I can honestly report the Ensign affair didn’t change my opinion of him one bit. I’ve always thought he was basically a tool of Bush/Cheney, which condemns his politics in my mind a lot more than some panty-peeling with his best friend’s old lady. Of course, it IS rather pleasant, in a blatantly schadenfreude kinda way, to see that our good senator, well known for his allegiance to that pack of Old Testament blowhards known as Promise Keepers, now wanders the halls of the U.S. Senate with his Dockers firmly affixed at ankle level.
And while this column sallies forth into a long overdue GOP slagging, I should go ahead with this: Hey Repubs, stop screeching about the socialism already! You’re not gonna spook me into some kind of knee-jerk anti-Obama spasm just because you keep flogging me with this new favorite boogie-word of yours. I mean, goddammit, we live in a country of socialized schools, socialized highway building, socialized mail service, and one fairly decent socialized medicine program (Medicare), to name a few. So excuse me if I fail to pee in my pants because the Democrats dare to talk about a public option in a national health plan.
Because you know what? I’m a lot more afraid of my health insurance company than I am of any new phony red menace. In ’07, my insurer, Anthem, raised my monthly 20 percent. Six months ago, it bumped me up another 41 percent. I can’t do anything about it because I have a pre-existing condition which completely stifles me from shopping around. In other words, Anthem has my nuts in a vise, and it ain’t bashful about giving the handle an occasional crank.
So please, all you birthers and teabaggers. Enough with the socialist button-pushing. Because, to tell the truth, I want it. I want a “socialist” option that will give my insurance company the cane-whipping it so richly deserves.