Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D: Another wasteful scary movie attempt, and a sequel to a movie that didn’t need one. The first Silent Hill movie was a banal, loud mess, and this one follows suit. Sean Bean returns as the confused dad trying to save his daughter Heather (Adelaide Clemens) from the horrors of Silent Hill, where her mother (Radha Mitchell) still resides. Silent Hill is a cursed city that looks a lot like a cheap video game, strewn with strange stitched-up monsters and totally lousy amusement parks. (Stay off the merry-go-round!) The movie is an incomprehensible mess that’s a task to watch. It’s also hard to see the likes of Malcolm McDowell and Carrie-Anne Moss wasting away in junk like this. Their parts are small, but they’re parts all the same. The first movie happened six years ago, so I thought we were safe from getting a sequel. Such was not the case. I will say there is a spider monster thing in the movie that is almost scary, and the little girl with the white face and black eyes sort of freaked me out. That amounts for about two minutes of this otherwise dreadful movie.