She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named runs again

Anybody catch the results of the election last November? The president himself called it a “shellacking.” Liberal pundits the world around tried to spin away what was the biggest repudiation of an administration’s agenda in almost a century. The booze flowed into the wee hours as gleeful Republicans celebrated victories crisscrossing the fruited plain.

But not in Nevada.

The booze was flowing all right, but for very different reasons. Nevada Republicans were drowning their sorrows as the returns came in for the U.S. Senate race. It didn’t even stretch into the wee hours before Republicans knew Sen. Reid would be handily reelected.

That night, many were flummoxed. Reid won by an astonishing 41,400 votes. That’s not a hard fought competition, that’s a good ol’ fashioned asskicking. A landslide so decisive that most losers in that contest would fade away, never to bother Nevada’s electorate again.

Unfortunately, most people are not Reid’s former opponent. I steadfastly refuse to use her name for fear of increasing her weird allure or even allowing her the satisfaction of a Google Alert with my name attached to it. So from here on out, I will refer to her as She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Trust me, I think it’s best this way; I read all seven books about that boy wizard.

In her email announcement for her now official run for congress to replace U.S. Rep. Dean Heller (who is running for Senate) She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named writes, “Harry Reid still rules the U.S. Senate.” Good point! He most certainly does. The Democrats still control the U.S. Senate by a margin of 53-47, and the Republicans lost three virtually guaranteed seats in Nevada, Colorado and Delaware due to fatally flawed, woefully unprepared candidates.

Let’s pause for a brief Nevada history lesson, shall we? In 2006, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was lagging a distant third behind Dawn Gibbons and then Secretary of State Dean Heller. A well-funded special interest group from the East Coast swooped in and artificially propped her up, so much so that she almost beat Heller in the primary. Thankfully, she didn’t.

In 2008, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named didn’t focus on beating a Democrat, she once again turned her sights on a fellow Republican, Sen. Bill Raggio, R-Reno. She couldn’t drink from the special interest trough this time because this wasn’t a statewide race, so she relied on her small but vocal group of supporters to take to the streets and walk on her behalf. Again, a spectacular failure.

OK, two crushing losses in two cycles so that’s it, right? Nope! Why bow out gracefully when one could still run for the U.S. Senate? In 2010, we found She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named shoring up the bottom of a pack of very distinguished candidates and again, like 2006, a special interest group from outside Nevada came rushing in with their money and artificially propelled her over the finish line. Well, everyone this side of Alpha Centauri knows how that one turned out.

Here comes 2012, and now She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is running for Congress. Again. There are some realistic issues to look at here. First, is there any special interest group left who will be willing to pump millions of dollars into someone who can’t manage to close the deal? Second, this is now an open seat so the state Legislature won’t have to answer to Heller when redrawing that district, meaning that it can only get bluer. Third, there is a whole stable of fresh Democrats chomping at the bit to get their hands on the chance to run for that seat. This one will be fiercely fought, for sure.

Over the last several years, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has been the gift that keeps on giving. Second Amendment remedies, Asian-looking Hispanics, Sharia law in Michigan and six more years of Sen. Harry Reid. Oh She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, do you really want to give our northern congressional seat to the Democrats, as well?