Scooby ‘doobie’ dud

This review comes to you from a guy who used to pass by Scooby-Doo cartoons on Saturday mornings in favor of Land of the Lost and Fat Albert. I always thought Scooby-Doo sucked. In my book, Chaka the Neanderthal (played lovingly by Ron Howard’s kid brother) ruled, while Scooby and his pals were just crappy drawings featuring reject guest stars from The Carol Burnett Show.

So expectations were not at super-high levels for the live action version of a lousy cartoon. Maybe that’s why I didn’t hate the thing. Diehard fans of the cartoon (a faction of people who scare me for various reasons) might feel let down by this silly movie. As for me, I almost liked it, but not quite.

The film starts with a direct tribute to the cartoon, with somebody faking a ghostly apparition, getting unmasked and proclaiming that he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids. After solving the mystery, the kids have an argument over who did the most work, and they wind up disbanding.

The cast of characters is actually pretty good, with Freddie Prinze Jr. playing a decent, doofy Fred, Sarah Michelle Gellar as the somewhat ditzy Daphne, Linda Cardellini (TV’s Freaks and Geeks) as the geeky Velma and Matthew Lillard nailing the mannerisms and voice of beatnik Shaggy.

Also on hand is Scott Innes, the original voice of Scooby-Doo. Scooby himself is now a CGI creation, and the results of this effect are mixed. Director Raja Gosnell experiences some Jar Jar Binks Syndrome, as the actors often don’t appear to be looking at the right mark when addressing their animated counterpart. It reminded me of Ewan McGregor staring two feet above Jar Jar’s head in Phantom Menace.

After a two-year layoff, the kids regroup for a mystery at an amusement park called Spooky Island. Run by an eccentric reclusive billionaire (Rowan Atkinson), college students have been leaving the vacation resort in a zombie-like state, and it’s up to the kids to find out why.

I never truly grasped just where the story was trying to go, and while the first half of this movie actually had me rooting for it, the final half is sloppy. I got a true sense of last-minute tinkering watching this one, as visuals and story elements seemed unfinished or unexplained.

Some of the movie works just fine, such as Cardellini’s funny depiction of Velma, sporting a sweater that bartenders can’t help but compliment. I liked the moment where she was crawling around on the floor looking for her glasses, a sequence I remember seeing many a time in the cartoon, when one of my younger siblings managed to wrest away control of the television.

Other plusses include when Gellar gets to kick butt Buffy-style and a fairly funny appearance by Scrappy-Doo, Scooby’s annoying nephew. I wasn’t aware of the anti-Scrappy movement existing amongst Scooby fans. He’s apparently the nadir of the Scooby world.

I could’ve done without the farting contest between Shaggy and Scooby, a showdown of gaseous expulsions that goes on a bit too long. There’s a surprising amount of drug humor in the picture (smoke billowing out of the Mystery Machine van’s windows, Shaggy’s quest for munchies), something parents might find offensive.

Maybe the filmmakers simply ran out of time for this one, because the end results feel like half a movie. For much of the movie, you are looking at a passable matinee. For the final stretch, the film, despite the likable cast, takes a sloppy dive.

So Scooby-Doo doesn’t get the job done. The actors have fun, and they almost produce a fun movie—something they might’ve gotten away with if it weren’t for that meddling director.