Right-wing, corporate imperialist wacko

“If you’re a liberal, anything you say is protected. If you’re a conservative, anything you say is hateful.” – Dr. Laura Schlessinger, author and syndicated talk show host

Your host receives, on a fairly regular basis, letters along the lines described by Dr. Laura that ask the equivalent of “How dare you?” The comments frequently are interlaced among epithets of the locker-room variety, interspersed among a steady stream of unfounded accusations: “racist” to “homophobe” to “dumb.” (I’m sure these would come as a surprise to many of my friends and employees, but I digress.) So, I’ll plead “not guilty” to the first two. As for the third, well, let me put it this way: If I’m actually dumb, I’ll give back my advanced degrees and demand a refund.

As I imagine it, the hand-wringing thought process must go like this: “I disagree with that Right Hook guy’s argument. He’s just a right-wing, corporate imperialist wacko who makes no sense whatsoever. His argument is totally without merit, so he must be a (fill-in-the-blank.)”

And still I get approval from a great many of my fellow right-wing wackos, I mean conservatives.

With that in mind, I’ll attempt an explanation of the great liberal-conservative divide. Let’s call this The Liberal Self-Help Guide to Understanding Conservatives and the Conservative Mindset.

Class is now officially in session:

First, what is so terribly wrong with expecting people to stay in school and get an education?

How hard is it to expect people to get a job and be productive members of society?

How difficult is it to expect people to take care of their children and save for their own retirement?

By the time people are 25, most have figured out how to earn a living. And yet, by the time they are 65, many haven’t figured out how to become financially well-off. So I’m supposed to get my conservative undies all in a bunch because someone can’t—in 40 years, mind you—figure out how to become financially self-sufficient? Heck, Benjamin Franklin had it figured out 250 years ago: “A penny saved is a penny earned.”

When I was a practicing attorney, every dead-beat parent I ever went after for back child support claimed poverty. When cross-examined, however, they all had a cell phone, cable television, Internet access, smoked a pack or more of cigarettes a day, spent at least one night a week at the local watering hole, were making payments on a new car or had subscriptions to magazines or newspapers.

Yet these same geniuses couldn’t find $100 to keep his or her kid in Pampers. Let’s be clear here: It wasn’t that they couldn’t figure it out; it was that they chose not to.

Only when it comes time to pony up are they suddenly victims of circumstance and deserving of sympathy.

It is due to this liberal mentality (coupled with some conservatives’ complicity) that we have the myriad government giveaways, hand-outs and freebies courtesy of the productive.

Need proof?

Check out one Mr. Matthew Lesko. (www.FreeMoneyToPayYourBills.com) He’s the funny little pitchman on television with the question-mark suits, funky hair and glasses.

He makes his living researching and providing information on government hand-outs. Lesko promises “4000 Little-Known Government Programs You Can Use To Pay What You Owe, And Get Out Of Debt!! Money You Never Have To Pay Back. 770 pages.” (www.mlesko.com/g2/store.htm).

Liberals love to claim that corporate welfare is bad. (Other types are apparently just fine.) I’d like to suggest that all welfare is bad. That doesn’t make me hateful or mean-spirited, but, I think, right.