Right hook

Conservatives rule; liberals drool Ven-om: Something resembling or suggestingpoison in its effect; spite; malice.

A reader recently commented on the “spleen-venting venom,” which makes an appearance here on a weekly basis. This gave me pause to consider that perhaps a slight explanation is required for those who maybe missed the memo.

Now, as near as I can follow the reasoning of the conservatively challenged, all of society’s ills can be solved by some government program or another. If the conservative philosophy of government is “first, do no harm,” with liberals it would be “first, do something.”

For example, after two girls were killed in unlit crosswalks off South Meadows Parkway near Double Diamond Elementary School, people ran around wanting something to be done. Bowing to the pressure, the City Council authorized $450,000 for a crosswalk light. Now that everyone seems content that something was done, no one seemed to contemplate the moronic idea of expecting four lanes of traffic at 35-40 mph to stop for a pedestrian in a white-striped crosswalk.

No? OK, how about the utterly ridiculous decision to build an elementary school off a four-lane thoroughfare—that kids would have to cross—in the first place. (And yes, “moronic” and “ridiculous” are accurate terms to use here.)

As in, perhaps it might be smarter and safer to make a policy change to construct all future schools inside a residential neighborhood where there is slower and significantly less traffic for kids to safely navigate?

That’s one reason we conservative types prefer significantly less government encroachment in our lives: Stupidity reigns supreme with government.

Liberals took great delight in excoriating the Bush administration for FEMA’s handling of New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. I wrote a column that essentially asked, “What did you expect?” Of course, had any of the “victims"—that is grown adults who live in a hurricane prone area—taken it upon themselves to have some level of preparedness, perhaps FEMA would have been able to help those truly in need. And when I read reports of the local Big Box Marts getting looted, was it for food and camping supplies? No. It was DVDs and television sets.

Look, if I wanted Socialism, I’d vote for it—or move to Canada. Canada is a perfect example of what happens when the government is responsible for health-care. Government involvement also explains the reason Canadians come to the United States for better healthcare and, particularly, major surgeries. But what do liberals keep clamoring for? Oh yeah, government-run healthcare for everyone because, after all, we can do it better than those dumb Canadians. Or something.

They continue to denounce the USA PATRIOT Act as an unconstitutional intrusion into our lives, yet I have yet to meet anyone who’s been even remotely inconvenienced by it—unlike, say, those DUI checkpoints. Apparently, when the Reno Police Department runs 4,000 vehicles through one of those safety-checkpoint gauntlets without reasonable suspicion of any crime being committed, that’s just hunky-dory because God forbid that civilization as we know it would cease to exist if I don’t have proof of insurance in the car. I suppose it’s too much to ask that the police go catch real criminals rather than trolling for possible drunk drivers? But it’s the USA PATRIOT Act we have to fear? Or something.

So you will perhaps forgive me when it comes to my spleen-venting venom. All things considered, it’s a miracle it’s just my spleen.