Reckless? Restrained.

Well, that was quite the jackal storm! I refer to the spectacle of those super grumpy old Freax on Fox in the aftermath of Vlad the Imputinator’s move into Ukraine. Jesus, you’da thought that Russian tanks had just rumbled into Disney World, the way these Obamaphobes pounced on the president, regaling their viewers with a torrid torrent of sputtering sputum that could lead them to one and only one extremely sorry conclusion—that our current commander-in-chief is a very wimpy weiner of a superwuss.

Well, what exactly was Obama supposed to do, crazed snarling pundits? Bomb somebody? Who, exactly? And over what, exactly? A peninsula that, truth be told, nobody in this country, including senile old codgers T. Rex McCain and John “Get Off My Lawn!” Bolton, gives two figs about?

Allow me to speak for all us wimpy weiners out here in the fruited plain. I don't mind one itsy bitsy teentsy weentsy fuckwad of an iota that Obama is thoughtful, measured, deliberate, and yes, boringly predictable in dealing with these international pseudo-crises. That's part of the reason I voted for the guy. I would much rather the United States be thoughtful and diplomatically oriented in foreign affairs, especially foreign affairs involving distant, weird spots of strange land filled with confusing people, because that's the best way to make sure foreign affairs don't become foreign misadventures.

In case you raving howler monkeys in the peanut gallery have forgotten, we just recently had a president who was somewhat enthusiastically inclined toward foreign intervention. Inclined enough to rack up a body count in the six digit range, and flush a few trillion with a T dollars down the toilet. I mean, shit, if you like presidents who ride horseback topless, fearlessly flashing the firm, decisive pectorals of testosteriffic leadership, he was your guy. I'm sure he could've ridden topless all day next to bad Vlad in what would have surely been a hairy-chested photo shoot for the ages. But the point is, our cowboy prez gave the green light to go go go and roll roll roll with some rockin' invasion action, an action that made Vlad's look like chump change. It was a decision that had, I'm sure, every one of these gronkulated Republican power pundits smashing beer cans on his forehead in whooping approval. It was a decision that, we found out very quickly, sucked. And sucked big time.

That anybody with even two neurons of memory left in his or her brain continues to listen to this reptilian cabal of encrusted dingleberries who are always wrong about everything is utterly beyond me.