Race to Witch Mountain

Rated 1.0

Having enjoyed the original Disney Witch Mountain movies, and being relatively pleased with some of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s prior film roles, I thought this remake might wind up being a passably good time. Boy, was I ever wrong. Johnson is totally lost in this cheap-looking, insipid, somewhat incomprehensible story of two aliens trying to relocate their spaceship and return home. The special effects are awful, the script is a mess, and the acting is terrible. Even the normally reliable Johnson looks like an idiot “oohing and ahhing” when doing blue-screen acting scenes, and the kids are duds. The only cool thing about the movie is the appearance of the original Witch pair, Kim Richards and Ike Eisenmann, in a diner scene. Otherwise, there’s nothing worth looking at in this thing.