Rated 1.0

In the original Poltergeist, a dude eating a drumstick tears his face off while looking in a mirror, throwing chunks of bloody flesh in a sink. Somehow, that movie managed to get a PG rating. In this remake, Sam Rockwell cries, and somehow they get the PG-13 rating. I love Sam Rockwell, but it's hard to watch him work up tears for this dreck. Actually, this movie is hard to watch from start to finish, even if you haven't seen the original. Original director Tobe Hooper (teaming with writer-producer Steven Spielberg) managed a good, horrific treat spiked with humor back in 1982. This paltry remake from director Gil Kenan loses all of the spark of the original, and gives us a routine haunting movie with cheap scares involving clown dolls that don't actually scare and kid actors who fail to register. I won't single them out because they are kids, but they do suck. Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt squirm through the roles originated by Craig T. Nelson and Jobeth Williams. There was no good reason for this undertaking. The movie shouldn't have been remade. If somebody dares to try and remake Jaws, I will be truly pissed off. Leave the Spielberg properties alone!