Welcome to this week's Reno News & Review.
You guys know me. I'm all about local. All local all the time. Unless, of course, I feel like teeing off on a controversy of critical national import, like creeping fascism or health care. So anyway, please take this with the good intentions with which it is offered.
I don't want to shock anyone, but it turns out I'm a bit of a prude: I have never sent a picture of my dick to a stranger. Or a friend. In fact, I think I can say with full certainty that I've never even taken a picture of the mighty maquette.
Thursday afternoon, I had a moment of peace in the eye of the storm, so I was cruising around the internet, and I happened across the uncensored versions of those photographs former Democratic congressman and current NYC mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner sent to that 23-year-old sorta-hottie Sydney Leathers under the name Carlos Danger. You, too, can see Weiner's wiener at thedirty.com. I imagine by the time this column gets read, it'll be old news, so you might have to root around on the site to find them. But really, for a short time, this penis belonged to the most powerful and exclusive club in the United States. How often do you get to lay your eyes on a nubbin like that?
People often suggest that men seek positions where they have power over others—like cop, gun collector, elevated four-wheel-drive-pickup driver or politician—to compensate for their lack of lanyard. I don't think it's true. Or at least, it doesn't appear to be true from what I've seen in a few locker rooms over the years. Of course, I've been wrong before.
Still, it's funny because Anthony Weiner's pee pee is just so almost average. If this is the type of peter that launches wars from Capitol Hill to prove its equity, you got to wonder what some of our recent past presidents have been packing. But, at least, they're not sending pictures. Right, Bill?
I mean, sheesh, you put a macro lens on anything, and you'd think you could at least reach the appearance of normal. But normal is apparently not what passes for electable in that congress of bros.