Party of values

Don't let all this attention being paid to the Republican presidential race fool you into thinking that the GOP is, you know, relevant again. The party still remains the most useless, worthless, batch of no 'count booger-eaters this nation has seen since that last big batch of 'em.

I mean, Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Republicans, if you can't find any better Hilary scandal than this nothingball horsebleep about her emails, then just give up and move on. Please? Because it's now getting painfully obvious you ain't got dick. Hill's email “scandal” has shown itself to be as lame, limp and soggy as her big bad Benghazi blooper. It's just pitiful. This is a Clinton, fercrissakes! You turkeys can't come up with anything juicier than these trifling piffles? It's the equivalent of going through the Dumpster at Mick Jagger's apartment—and finding an old Hustler.

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Remember the names of Hans Blix and Scott Ritter? These were two of the weapons inspectors involved in Iraq who came out before our invasion and said, “Uh, you know, we don't think there are any WMDs. We sure as hell haven't seen any.” They were, of course, ignored, shouted down by a much louder rah-rah faction of jingoists, led by Darth and Don, and numerous bad calls then ensued. And “six days, six weeks, six months” turned into six effing years.

We should remember Blix and Ritter, and to not easily dismiss the opinions of those who have actual access to important sites, and maybe even give these inspectors a token modicum of respect. Many of them know what they're talking about. Tough to find a neo-con reptile who can make the same claim.

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As for Ben Carson—eesh. Don't mistake his relative calm and quiet for a guy who is reasonable. He's anything but. What are we to make of his 2013 quote? “You know Obamacare is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this country since slavery. And it is slavery in a way, because it is making all of us subservient to the government, and it was never about health care. It was about control.”

I'm not saying you have to support Obamacare, even if it hasn't destroyed America, to the eternal disappointment of so many wretched Repubs. But to call national health care the worst thing since slavery? Excuse me? Worse than World War II? The Depression? Seriously?

Here's another knee-slapper from ole Ben, August 2014. ”There comes a time when people with values simply have to stand up. Think about Nazi Germany. Most of those people didn't believe in what Hitler was doing. But did they speak up? Did they stand up for what they believe in? They didn't, and you saw what happened.”

Say what? Benny baby, what exactly are you talkin' about? And this is the guy in second place? How about we start going through this ding dong's emails and see what nuggets we unearth?