One man’s family

The book is by Craig Unger, and it’s House of Trump, House of Putin: The Untold Story of Donald Trump. It’s jaw-dropping in its scope and revelations. But the simple and main takeaway is this—the entire Republican Party is in the Russian mob’s pocket. Meaning that we can go back a few years to a steaming shithead like Mississippi cracker-choker Trent Lott (remember that asshole?) and find him after his Senate days taking millions working as a lobbyist for Gazprombank, Russia’s largest peddler of natural gas. Meaning that vile greedhead oligarchs have pumped millions into the campaigns of villainous GOP asshats like Rubio, Graham, and, of course, McConnell, all treasonous hypocrites of exceptional quality.

It’s not just Dum Dum, who’s raked in billions with a B over the years selling his garish condos to Russian mobsters so they can launder their thievings. The entire Republican Party is absolutely filthy with Russian money. These fucking assholes are playing us all for schmucks, clowning us every day with lie after lie out of their ridiculous mouths. So you know why we vote for Democrats? Because they aren’t in on the take. Big Daddy Putin hated both Hillary and Barack, and, goddammit, that tells you all you need to know. (Unger to Russian source: “Does Putin indeed have sexual kompromat on Trump, like the Steele Dossier claims?” Source, after spitting his drink out through his nostrils: “Are you kidding? They’ve got a Nice Fat File on Donny Boy. And there’s a lot better stuff in there than that tired old pee pee tape.”)

To hang on to the houses of Congress, Trump and his lackeys are now bombarding America with an utterly unprecedented Blizzard of Bullshit that smacks of completely desperate flailing. I remember a great cover of National Lampoon magazine in ’71, where there was a dog on the cover, and the dog had a gun to its head. The caption was simply, “Buy this magazine or we kill the dog.” That pretty much sums up the ReTrumplican approach in the last days of this campaign—Vote for us or we kill the dog. Because what else do they have? They got nothing. Nothing but lies, fear and bullshit (an excellent and spot-on summation of the current GOP platform).

We may not be financial big shots or billionaire fat cats. But we ain’t schmucks. We’re good, decent people, and we ache every week watching Agent Orange and his pathetic Maelstrom of Mendacities. So let’s vote in such a way that King Deplorable will roar with pissy rage throughout Election Night. Good times!