One man’s base

I think I finally reached a happy place when it comes to President Spanky’s daily barrage of bullshit tweets. And make no mistake, I’m on those nasty little communiques. I get up at 6, and by 6:15, I’m reading the latest round of Twitlerian twaddle. So what has transpired organically over time is where his smears and insults that used to get me all agitated are now eliciting nothing more than yawns. That’s it. I mean, in this situation, where every tweet is a lie, and often multiple whoppers, I’ve finally reached a place to where I’m fairly bored. The Tweeter-in-Chief done wore me out! His bile blasts are nothing-burgers that will be forgotten in a day. Ho hum. Dum Dum’s raving. Again. ZZZZZ.

You know who Spanky reminds me of now? No, not Hitler. I’m not going there (although I will give big applause to the guy in front of the White House with a sign slamming Agolf Twitler. Kudos, sir!). I’m thinking more Jim Jones. Isn’t Trump basically Jim Effing Jones with fenders (goddammit, our phony president has fenders?), tweeting to his unbudgeable base of zomplorables, which we now can say with pinpoint accuracy is 36-38 percent of America. Every morning, Reverend Trump doles out the Kool-Aid to the faithful, only his Kool-Aid isn’t liquid, it’s digital, and it’s delivered via daily tweetstorm. So the faithful drink. And like. And then concoct some new cockamamie conspiracy direct from the realm of Cuckoo Crazy for Cocoa Puffs.

We in the media talk way too much about Dum Dum’s base. Why bother? They’re barnacles. They like him being a racist, sexist, lunkheaded psuedo-mob boss. So be it. We don’t talk enough about our base. The base of Americans who prefer sane, reasonable, non-racist, non-asshole legislation and action coming out of D.C. The base of us who want the current crop of Malevolent Klepto-Incompetents to GTFO ASAP. I put our base at a solid 58 percent. So let’s kick some ass. You ready? Deadline for voter registration is Oct. 7. And remember, only squares vote on actual Election Day. How 20th century! Ughsville! Early voting runs from Oct. 20 to Nov. 2, and when you early vote, it takes anywhere from four to seven minutes, and it couldn’t be easier. It’s amazing how many people still wait for Election Day. I guess there are folks who just like waiting around in lines.

Hey Omarosa—we’re ready for a fun new tape! Drop it, sister! How about one that pulls Pence’s pants down?