Night of the Living Occupants

So my brother was raving to me about The Walking Dead, a show of which he’s a bit too fond. I told him I’d check it out. It’s OK, but, in the end, it’s a show about effing zombies. Which means it’s barely fit to carry Breaking Bad’s meth beakers. I have to admit, I’m rather tired of zombies. There aren’t any zombies, and there’s never been a zombie, and why are we so enamored with these shuffling braineaters?

Then, last week, Stephen Colbert pointed out there has actually been one known zombie in history—none other than Jesus. What a great call. Damn, I wish I’d thought of that.


I predict a swift disappearance of the Occupy Reno gang. If they’re not already gone. I mean, who wants to freeze their buns off camping out behind the goddamn Moana Pool? Isn’t being shunted off to a completely hidden and meaningless location kind of defeating the purpose? If you’re not gonna have a nice cluster of tents in Wingfield Park or Mapesless Plaza so that folks can see you and be reminded of the whole 99% thing, why bother? Sorry, but you’re not really spreading the word about the villainous plutocracy if you’re invisible. And your teeth are chattering.

It’s time for all Occupiers to break camp, anyway. They’ve made their point. I think. What was the point? Oh yeah, Corporate Greed Sucks. OK, got it. Now vanish. If you’re gonna smash the windows of a Rite-Aid and spray paint a Whole Foods, I’m getting a very confused and pissy little message. I realize that we’re dealing with the vandal fringe of the movement and that most Occupiers were as pissed/horrified at that hooligan bullshit as non-Occupiers were, but still. It’s time for something new. It’s time for something more. It’s time for growth.

The longer the various Occupations go on in their present form, the more precious energy is squandered. Energy that could better be used for politics. It’s time for the Occupations to get over their groovy little anarchy trip and get it together. It’s time to coalesce and bring a clear, focused message of some sort to an America that appears quite interested to hear one. So give it one already. Coalesce and make something big happen. Like a Million Occupant March in Washington. Hell, a TWO Million Occupant March. Something that we’ll be talking about in 20 years as a pivotal point in pissed populism. The Next Step Up from camping out and bongo-banging in front of the mayor’s office. That was Step One. Cool. It was necessary and righteous. You gotta walk before you run. Now, on to Step Two. Demand aid from the Wall Street Banksters. Demand that Congress pass the President’s Jobs Bill. You know, something. It’s time to quit breaking curfews and freezing in the park. It’s time to get something fucking done!