Nasty stuff

Hey, do you want to hear what popped up last night that I hadn’t seen in two weeks?

My carrots and one of my pole beans.

This is Home Improvement Brian, here again to spread the bizarre joy of growing stuff in the garden. When I got home from work last night, I went out to water my little greenies, and when I held my nose about two inches above the chicken wire anti-quail device, I could see three little dark green hairs poking out of the soil. A couple hours later, I took my Earth baby, Kathleen, out to check them out, and they’d more than doubled in number. It was her suggestion to check out the pole beans, and sure enough, there was a little knuckle of broken soil, a beanie baby waiting for birth.

On the other hand, many of my most conservative friends are already seeing blossoms on their tomatoes and peppers. You’ve got to look pretty hard to find any snow on Peavine. Do I dare plant the cold sensitive darlings two weeks before our final-freeze day, May 19?

Do you ever wonder what motivates people to plant gardens? I think I mentioned before that I don’t even like vegetables. My friends and family actually eat most of what I produce. If you don’t mind a little undisciplined pop psychology, I believe there is a growing interest in gardening because it allows the gardener a much greater level of control of his or her environment than everyday life does. It’s an escape from the madness of modern life. When a gardener applies manure to loamy soil, adds some fish guts and water, and applies tobacco tea to make the plant unpalatable to insects, the gardener has controlled his environment. Things generally will grow exactly how God, I mean the gardener, intended them.

Reason to vote No. 25: Think your vote won’t or doesn’t count? This presidential election, Nevada is a battleground state, and our five measly electoral votes may decide the whole thing.