Move over, Oscar. Bob’s picks are in.
The Grimmy Awards
BEST ACTOR: Kyle MacLachlan (Twin Peaks), Gary Oldman (Darkest Hour) Christian Bale (Hostiles), Jake Gyllenhaal (Stronger), Daniel Kaluuya (Get Out)
BEST ACTRESS: Frances McDormand (Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri), Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird), Jessica Chastain (Molly’s Game), Sally Hawkins (Maudie), Anne Hathaway (Colossal)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Sam Rockwell (Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri), Ray Romano (The Big Sick), Jason Sudeikis (Colossal), Patrick Stewart (Logan), Willem Dafoe (The Florida Project)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Holly Hunter (The Big Sick), Alison Janney (I, Tonya), Laurie Metcalf (Lady Bird), Betty Gabriel (Get Out), Naomi Watts (Twin Peaks)
BEST SUPPORTING MATTRESS: One of those really expensive memory foam kinds.
WORST ACTOR IN A GOOD MOVIE: Benicio del Toro (Star Wars: The Last Jedi)
WORST ACTRESS IN A GOOD MOVIE: Laura Dern (Star Wars: The Last Jedi)
BEST ACTOR IN A BAD MOVIE: Daniel Craig (Logan Lucky)
BEST ACTRESS IN A BAD MOVIE: Kristen Wiig (Downsizing)
BEST PLACE TO BUY SPONGES: In a store that sells sponges.
BEST DIRECTOR: David Lynch (Twin Peaks: The Return)
BEST INFECTOR: A lady who coughs right on your arm during your Southwest flight home from Disneyland resulting in you getting sick for a week. (Don’t get me started.)
BEST ORIGINAL SONG IN A MOVIE: “I Get Overwhelmed” by Dark Rooms (A Ghost Story)
OVERRATED: Battle of the Sexes, Logan Lucky, The Fate of the Furious
BEST FOREIGN FILM: Raw
MOST LAME, SHAMELESS HOMAGE TO A DICKHEAD: Louis C.K. wearing black rimmed, Woody Allen looking glasses in his shitty film I Love You Daddy.
WHY IS THIS ASSHOLE IN MOVIES AGAIN?: Mel Gibson, Daddy’s Home 2