Melinda and Melinda

Say hello to the latest piece of garbage from the once-great Woody Allen. This one is a clunky conceptual piece about two sides of the same story. Radha Mitchell plays the tragic character of Melinda, the center of a story being discussed by dinner partners, a gathering that includes, of course, Wallace Shawn. One of the guests sees Melinda’s story as a tragedy, while the other sees it as a tragic-comedy. We must endure both versions, and while Mitchell is sometimes impressive, Allen’s stilted, dated dialogue is just obnoxious coming out of people in the year 2005. This man is out of touch. It’s painful, freaking excruciating, to watch the great Will Ferrell toil in the role of Allen impersonator (a role butchered by the likes of Kenneth Branagh and Edward Norton). Ferrell’s delivery has Allen’s nervous comic timing and stammering, and it’s just wrong, wrong, wrong. Woody Allen should stop making movies. Even if he makes a great one the next time out, he won’t make up for the pain caused by this, Hollywood Ending, Anything Else, etc.