LV goes against type

Notice how the Colin Kaepernick “big bad sex fiend” story just kinda dried up and blew away? That's because (1) the woman in question had previously been a bedmate of Kap's, (2) she wasn't raped or given roofies, and (3) nobody gives a dumpy doobie about pro athletes smoking weed. Seriously, celebrities smoking pot is nowadays about as scandalous as celebrities eating doughnuts.

Of course, millions of dolts who only read headlines these days—actually, they don't read at all; they get their celebrity “news” from TMZ videos—now believe that Kap is a raging perv and a creep. So it goes. And we wonder why the guy is wary of the media …

An interesting story in the L.A. Times this week about the water situation in Vegas, and how work is carrying on furiously to get a new, lower intake valve constructed at Lake Mead so if the lake level keeps dropping, as expected, LV will still be able to access its water allotment. This is the kind of news that makes the folks out in White Pine County uneasy, since Vegas still has its big hairy eyeball on that $15 billion pipeline project that would bring thousands of acre feet of eastern Nevada and western Utah water down to Clark County so all those extremely important new tennis clubs, oil change joints, and boob job clinics can be built.

But while it's easy to portray Vegas as a huge, fat, dangerous pig, it's also true that the city is doing some very commendable things in the realm of innovative and effective water conservation. For example, water use in LV has been cut by 33 percent in the last few years while the city has grown by 400,000. That's some solid, significant work in water conservation (conserve? How dare you even mention the word!) How'd they make that happen?

The creation and administration of a $200 million fund that paid homeowners to get rid of that thoughtless mutant lawn and replace it with plants more suitable for the harsh desert sure didn't hurt. Money talks, bullshit walks. Or in this case, money talks and bullshit becomes a thoughtful part of that brand new Xeriscape look. ”Look, honey, how nice that big ole spray-painted cow chip looks next to the big cactus!”

The truth of water usage in LV is surprising. The next time smart alecks like me want to point to that giant fountain pool in front of Bellagio as proof of LV's insane attitude with water, I should remember that the Strip uses all of 3 percent of LV's water supply. That's it. Three percent. By comparison, the real water gobblers are the parks, golf courses, and lawns of LV, which soak up a stunning SEVENTY PERCENT of Vegas' H2O!

Two takeaways from this article: (1) There will never ever be another Lake Las Vegas. (2) Are you taking notes, TMWA (the Truckee Meadows Water Authority)?