Love & Sex

Editors’ choice

Illustration By John Craig

Best place to get stranded with a date

Sand Mountain
Granted, this only works if your date isn’t a homicidal maniac or a date rapist. But assuming your paramour is “all systems go” on the morality front, Sand Mountain is a great place to lose vehicular mobility on a Saturday night. The long drive out there is a perfect time to test each other’s musical tastes. When you get stuck in the sand, settle down for some snuggling and long hours of one-on-one conversation. It’s quiet and peaceful, and the view of the stars is awe-inspiring. When dawn breaks, some kindly campers are sure to haul you out.

Best place to find your soulmate

Reno Animal Control
2825 Longley Lane

If you’ve ever had a big, beautiful, brown pair of puppy eyes staring adoringly into yours, you know what I mean. Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, and in Reno, divorce capital of the world, even the bonds of marriage are tenuous. But the love of a pet is unparalleled in strength and unconditional in nature. Adopt a kitty for $25 to $35, or a dog for $55 to $75. And after you’ve found the love of your life, don’t forget to get the little fuzzball spayed or neutered. But remember, it’s OK to love your pet—just don’t love your pet.

Best place FOR STUDENTS to explore

University of Nevada, Reno, dorms
You left high school armed with your SAT scores and an outfit by Abercrombie and Fitch. Now you’ve got a tattoo, a tongue piercing, a tray full of Jell-O shots and a lingering sense of sexual frustration. There’s nothing like going away to college to loosen the entrance requirements on that conservative button-up shirt. Reno isn’t exactly the most welcoming community for your possible coming-out party, but if it’s true that 10 percent of the United States is gay, that’s approximately 1,300 potentials at the university alone. Happy hunting!

Best place to cheat on your “loved” one

Anywhere but here
With a population of about 230,000 people, you’d think there would be some place in the Reno/Sparks area you could hide. Think again, buddy. The simple fact is that eventually, everyone knows everyone in this town. Just ask around. You’ll discover that the check-out girl at the supermarket used to work with your girlfriend at the bank. And the bartender at your favorite pub used to mow the lawn for your girlfriend’s mom. Chances are, the person you’re trying to cheat with knows her, too. In short: The eyes of Reno are upon you, all the live-long day …