Loser, dud, Edsel, flop—Trump?

One thing I will give Agent Orange honest credit for is bringing my family closer together. For real. Here’s how it works. About once a month, I get on the phone with my brother, Tommy, and we positively roast Trump’s nuts for at least an hour, usually an hour and a half. We gleefully and wickedly laugh and rant and hoot and rage at all of his latest flaps, faux pas and fuckups, and by doing so, we’re staying in touch with each other on a pleasurable and regular basis.

So thank you, King of Deplorables! Tom’s most recent pronouncement: A case of incurable, testicle-eating syphilis isn’t quite nasty enough for the BCOTUS (batshit chowderhead of the United States).

One of the guys I love on Twitter is Donald J. Drumpf, who’s pretty funny with his non-stop lampooning of President Bonespur. If you want to read a guy who knows how to roast Twitler and his tweets, Drumpf is the dude. He’s been busting Trump’s nuts for years, and here’s the tasty, spot-on tweet he posted after Manafort’s guilty plea deal: “Witch Hunt! There is absolutely no connection between the Trump campaign manager, Trump national security advisor, Trump personal lawyer, Trump Organization CFO, and Donald J. Trump!”

Which does bring to mind the image of Dum Dum, bobbing up and down in that proverbial pot of water and now noticing that. “Hey, this sucker is getting a tad toasty.” Just think about the various investigations. We can barely keep track of them! There’s Mueller (who just keeps on keepin’ on piling up the charges), there’s the Southern District of New York (more nasty feds), there’s the super badass attorney general of NY Barbara Underwood (who’s eager to get way up Trump’s ass), there’s the CREW crew (Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington) and their pesky emoluments lawsuit, there’s Team Porn Playmate featuring Avenatti Stormy Karen Shera, there’s all these books devoted to Trumponian curtain pulls by Omarosa, Bob Woodward, Rick Wilson, Queen Stormy (yeti pubes!), and Craig Unger (the sleeper, the one that gets deep into Trump being the money launderer of choice for Russian mafia thugs going back decades), and of course there are plenty more more more coming to contribute to Orange’s ever-burning sensation of oncoming madness, humiliation and doom.

The irony is palpable. The one development that will cause Trump to seize up and vapor lock is the one he truly fears, one that’s now feeling downright inevitable. Because sometime in the near future, the name Trump will become synonymous with the word “LOSER.”