Local troll misspells ‘snowflake’!
VIRGINIA FOOTHILLS, Nev.—Olaf Snaggletooth, a 255-year-old mountain troll who lives in a cave near Virginia Foothills, recently wrote a 50-page essay praising Donald Trump, mocking immigrants, and criticizing the media.
Throughout his essay, titled “Screw You Guys,” Snaggletooth repeatedly attacked the “lamestream media,” which he described as “a bunch of libtard snueflawcks.”
According to Gordon Bachs, a University of Nevada, Reno linguist fluent in Trollish, “snueflawcks” is most likely a spelling variation of the English word “snowflake.” It’s unclear whether this new spelling was intentional or not.
“Trolls like Mr. Snaggletooth are often intoxicated on what they call ’MAGA juice,’ a mix of gin, chicken blood and fentanyl,” said Bachs. “The line between intentional and accidental is not always clear with trolls.”
Considering that the essay is rife with other spelling mistakes, like “propuganda” and “Newada,” grammatical problems, and homophone errors, it’s likely the spelling was a mistake.
Snaggletooth faxed copies of his essay to media outlets around Northern Nevada. In an attached statement, Snaggletooth claimed that “the fax machine is the most pureblood” form of communication.
Reached via fax, Snaggletooth refused to be interviewed, explaining that he does not own a phone and would not head into Reno city limits because he said the city was “full of trannies, hipsters and Mexicans.” He also would not consent to allowing a reporter to visit him at his home. He refused to respond to an inquiry if this was because he considered his home a “safe space.”