Letters for May 20, 2010

The king is risen

Re “Really real” (Letters to the Editor, May 13):

After reading the repetitious verbal bitchslap fest between two of your readers regarding whether one of them “Did so!” or “Did not!” see OurLawrdAnParsonalSayvyerJaysusChrist-Aymen in their mind’s eye or on a casino billboard or on their iPod screen or whatever, I simply have to let you in on a startling secret. There I was … just a lyin’ awake one night in the trailerhouse, after having cooked up and eaten a big ol’ mess o’ crawfish-velveeta-pickled-pigsfeet casserole from The White Trash Cookbook, and I looked up … and there, a’floatin on the trailer ceiling … I done saw him. Dressed all in white, with his signature hunka hunka ruby sequined one piece polyester jumpsuit … the King o’ Rock an Roll Hisself … ELVIS! ELLVIISS! I immediately fell to my knees and asked the King “whatever shall I do, Lawrd?” An He told me to go forth and multiply … and spread the Don’t be Cruel Word … the Holy hunka-hunka burnin’ gospel that Elvis Is Everywhere … just like Mojo Nixon done told us. Elvis is in every one of us. Even in Joan Rivers (but he’s tryin’ to get out). Now, some of y’all might doubt this here re-ligious experience I done had … but lemme tell you … The King is a’comin’ Back soon … and Boy will he be PISSED at y’all for not believin’. He done saved My Soul. He can save yours, too.

Chris Rosamond
Supreme Extra Crispy Pastor,
Holy Rollin Church of the Kentucky Fried Elvis, Reno

Push or pull

The leadership of the Republican Party has run out of track by following its own program and concentrating on finance, industry, and agriculture in a concentrated, one-sided, ambitious way. In the meanwhile, they have overlooked and ignored the people and country that voted them into office. They have done so well with that, we have had to bail out the banks, bail out Wall Street, and bail out industry. We have to put up with recalls of produce and meat products, some grown out of the country. Because of the past Republican leadership taking controls off the books, we have a runaway, greedy breakdown of our American System. Let’s bring the work back to within our borders and quit letting undocumented people in. Start applying regulations where they belong. Start helping our new leader instead of standing in the way. Remember who got us here when you go to the polls, and put your vote behind your choice. Let’s get this country back in working order.

Jack Kunce

Poultry sums

Re “Think that Senate race is in the bag” (Reviled & Revered, May 6):

Harry Reid’s forces are “modernist scumbags” for repeating Sue Lowden’s suggestion that patients barter chickens for their checkups? How dare these Democratic modernists confuse people with the facts when any Republican antiquarian can tell you the Chicken Lady actually meant “negotiate.” The doc asks for three chickens, you offer one and finally settle on two. Now I’ve got it!

Rich Dunn
Carson City

Shared blame

No one was watching, and they perhaps thought no one would notice.

So they quietly unzipped and let out that long hard pipe, pushing deep below the sea. Down into the soft membrane of the earth, probably more swiftly than they should have, they penetrated. And they kept thrusting, deeper and harder, without all the protective devices they should have used because out of sight, out of mind. … And besides, why put on expensive protection when no one is watching and it looks better for the bottom line?

But they thrust too hard and too deep and wounded the GOM.

Now, on the naked ocean bed a pressure-engorged rip spurts forth an unending flow of quasi-organic hot sticky goo into a once-virginal environment. As the world vicariously watches in shock, a group of shadowy men remotely guide a giant receptacle to force a mating with this human-inflicted geyser to suck away its spouting seminal flow.

But the unwilling box spurns this unwelcome advance, coldly icing up and rolling away on its side, not wanting to participate in this horror.

A twisted gang-bang of some kind is ongoing, and all our collective orifices will be soon smarting from this unwelcome penetration for a goodly long time.

As the GOM lays bleeding and dying, the media tell us, “Move along, nothing to see, move along … Oh, look, over there, something shiny.”

And we welcome the new shiny, grateful to be able to pretend it wasn’t our fault. At least for a little longer.

And the beat goes on.

Craig Bergland

You were had

Re “Don’t tread on me” (Feature story, May 13):

You’ve done your readers a disservice by not researching the corporate and Republican Party astroturf roots of the Tea Party movement. The movement originated in the twisted minds of the people at Freedom Works (Dick Armey’s lobbying organization) and the Koch Industries-funded Americans for Prosperity. These puppet-masters are cynically manipulating the public’s understandable anger and frustration. The irony is that many of the masters of the universe who are misdirecting this rage are the very people who are causing the underlying problems in the first place. Shame on you for helping to legitimize this propaganda!

Jay Goldfarb

Where was the party?

Re “Don’t tread on me” (Feature story, May 13):

Yes, mad as hell indeed. I’ve been mad since Ford pardoned Nixon. And of course mad at folks much younger than myself who, when out complaining about the condition of our country, seem to have amnesia about the Ford/Nixon decision and the period of 2000-2008. Where oh where were they during this time, under a rock? Shall we review? In a coup, SCOTUS appointed a boob for president, having the actual president, Cheney, doing what passed for thinking. Do you recall the WMD, Iraq/Afghan wars, the millions paid to Halliburton, etc. for less than honest work or supplies, no body armor, tax cuts for the wealthy, the financial crises created by these same folks, and of course Katrina, and dead fellow Americans because of incompetence? Where were you? Just asking.

Charlie Webster
via email

Auto terrorists

In recent years we’ve witnessed certain political persuasions that entertain the idea that violence and even murder are forms of free speech. Of course they are wrong.

This past weekend I went out for a test ride on a bicycle I had put together over the winter. Within five blocks, I was threatened by a pickup truck that revved his motor and sped by so close as to brush my left shoulder with his side mirror. I confronted the driver at the next intersection. He thought it was funny. Acts of violence, acts of terrorism, are not funny, and automobiles can be considered deadly weapons.

In retrospect, I should have reported this crime and the vehicle’s license plate number to the authorities. Erratic behavior behind the wheel amounts to probable cause DUI. Endangering life and property is very serious.

Bicyclists should always carry a cell phone, a pen and paper. Don’t confront the suspect, just phone police immediately and report a suspected drunk driver and the vehicle license plate number. That would go a long way toward removing this menace from those public places called our streets. Even better yet, how about creating a website to compile witnesses and license plate numbers?

Del Williams