Legion

Angels come down to Earth and kick some gory ass for Jesus in yet another weak, biblically themed action pic. Paul Bettany stars as Michael, a loyal angel who disobeys God’s orders and chooses to protect a baby rather than killing it. Presumably the baby is the Messiah, though nobody in the movie ever says it. Most of the action takes place in a greasy spoon Arizona diner, probably because producers couldn’t afford to set the action in a big city. I went in hoping we’d get an apocalypse film that was faithful to the Book of Revelation, which is, seriously, one of the craziest things ever written. Instead, we get a boring Terminator-zombie flick hybrid that cheeses out in the end. There’s a cool sequence where a grandma crawls around on the ceiling and takes chunks out of some dude’s neck, but that’s it for good stuff. Dennis Quaid and Charles Dutton also star.