Kingdom of Heaven

There’s one word to properly describe this film: boring. Orlando Bloom proves himself one of the dullest leading men in cinematic history as a blacksmith who discovers he’s the son of a knight (Liam Neeson, who leaves the film far too early) and winds up fighting in the Crusades. Director Ridley Scott stages some rousing battles, but the story propelling his film is dull. Bloom was all right in the Lord of the Rings films, but he’s no Mel Gibson when it comes to “Let’s go to battle!” speeches. Hell, Paul Reubens of Pee Wee Herman fame would get the adrenaline pumping more than this guy. Kingdom of Heaven gets the summer movie season off to a bland, unmemorable start and puts Bloom’s career in a holding pattern until the next Pirates of the Caribbean.