Kids & family

Best place to teach your teenager a lesson in speed

Slot Car Warehouse
132 E. Plumb Lane, 448-9996
We’ve all been teenaged drivers, and we all probably took a turn a little too fast before learning that a quick turn leads to a spin-out, nearly side-swiping a car in the oncoming lane or a holy-crap adrenaline rush that makes us promise we’ll never again take a turn at more than 15 miles an hour. For parents who want their kids and teens to learn lessons about speed before reaching driving age, the track at Park Lane Mall is invaluable. It’ll teach yet-to-be drivers to speed up on the straight-aways, slow down on the turns and not drive too close to other cars. Ten bucks gets drivers an hour of drive time and a car rental, although the truly fanatical can buy their own cars and spiff them up however they like. Racing can be fun for moms and dads, too, or just useful for earning mom and dad an hour or so of alone time.

Best place to teach your children about the birds and the bees

Oxbow Park
Sure, there are lots of great things about school: art (only not as much as there used to be), music (only not as much as there used to be), SHARE (Sexuality, Health and Responsibility Education, only not as much as there used to be), math (OK, but only how to pass the test for No Child Left Behind). But is school really the place to learn about the birds and the bees? This sort of thing can’t be taught in a classroom; can you imagine the visual aids? Nope, the birds and the bees should be left up to mom and dad, who can joyfully take their children down to Oxbow Nature Study Area, 3100 Dickerson Road, where they can see real-life examples of flora and ornithology. What do you mean, sex? What did you think we were talking about? Oh. That’s just sick.

Best place to score a hole in one

Wild Island Adventure Park
250 Wild Island Court, Sparks, 359-2927
You don’t need to go to Disneyland to have quality time with the kids. Since 1989, Wild Island Adventure Park has been thrilling local kids and parents with its water park, miniature golf course and Indy and sprint car rides. In the summer, families can splash in the park’s Montego Bay wave pool or try more daring attractions such as The Scorpion, a half-pipe tube ride, or its Red Viper and Black Widow water slides. If getting wet isn’t your idea of having fun, then you and the kids can play 18 or 36 holes of putt-putt at the park’s miniature golf course. The park recently added an indoor entertainment center, which includes its 20-lane Coconut Bowl, a children’s play zone and a billiards area. When the kids tire of playing and their tummies start to growl, head over to the Smokin’ Marlin; it’ll build up the stamina for another 18 holes.