Immortals

Theseus (Henry Cavill …the man who will be Superman) battles the evil, slovenly King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) in this, yet another account of Greek gods fighting with Titans and whatnot. Director Tarsem Singh uses boring CGI, lots of slow motion, and goofy costumes to try and cover up the fact that he doesn’t have a story, nor does he have actors worth a lick. Cavill is a stiff in the lead role, Stephen Dorff continues his tradition of appearing in bad films, and Mickey Rourke is just a task to observe these days. With all the gore offered up in this thing, the most horrifying 3D visuals would have to be the extreme close-ups of Rourke while he is eating. That’s just nightmare fuel at its worst.