Immigrant son

The Mexican dishes on the anti-immigrant descendents of immigrants

Dear Mexican: My cousin put a picture on Facebook that said, “I will not be forced to learn a foreign language to accommodate illegals in my country.” He’s Mexican-American. Our family is from La Luz, Zacatecas. His dad was born here in El Paso, Texas. How do I politely tell him he’s wrong?

Sorry, cabrón, but you’re just not going to win this battle. As much as I and other Chicano yaktivists would love it that everyone of Mexican descent in this country were a card-carrying member of the Reconquista complete with Nahuatl names and a Frida-filled house, that’s just not going to happen. As I’ve explained muchos times before, the great thing about this country is how it can turn the descendents of even the biggest wab into an anti-immigrant loon by the second generation (see: Marco Rubio) and even by the first (see: my parents). The best you can tell your cousin is remind him that your grandparents came to this country to find a better life, not to talk trash on those less fortunate than them—but, again, it’s a losing battle that goes contrary to the American immigrant experience, which sees the previous generation of immigrants spit on newcomers. So can I suggest something revolutionary? Leave your primo to his opinions. Let him be a prieto Know Nothing. You be the conscious cousin, and let him be the pocho one—trust me, you’ll get all the hot second cousins at the family pachangas, while he’ll be condemned to be the Tio Taco of El Paso.

You explain the etymology of words so well! Please enlighten your readers with the explanation of the word prieto, as opposed to moreno.

Prieto is derived from apretar (“press”), from the Late Latin appectorare (“to press against one’s chest”), but in Mexico it denotes a dark hue, one veering on blackness. Moreno, on the other hand, comes from moro, the Spanish word for Moor, and usually signifies a dark brown—you know, like a Moor! How we got prieto to mean “blackish” from its pressing roots escapes me. But these are general definitions, as their meaning shifts across the color prism depending on who’s talking and what century. In the present day, prieto is usually reserved as a term for parents to describe their darkest-skinned kid, a description as injurious to a young soul as calling them “tubby” or “Newt Gingrich.”

It’s sad to see your wimpy answers. Your replies scream self-hatred and shame for your raza. You’re pathetic! No plan or desire to fix Mexico’s problems. You’re a puto with no huevos. My dream act would be that you Mexicans would stop groveling to gringos, and scream about fixing Mexico, like WHITE PEOPLE did against the Iron Curtain. ONLY THEN will your Mexican self-shaming and self-hatred of your un-macho, puto, groveling raza change to real pride.

Groveling? Chulo, this is the only column in the country that refers to gabachos as gabachos instead of the candy-ass “gringo” like your gabacho ass uses. No desire to fix Mexico? What’s billions of dollars of remittances, then—or the Reconquista, for that matter? Or those marches of millions rallying for amnesty? That’s a movement as epic as Solidarity or glasnot (and last I checked, a chingo of Eastern Bloc refugees worked from los Estados Unidos to liberate their homelands). Pride for America? All I hear from Know Nothings is how horrible the U.S. is, yet they do nothing to improve it other than rant—they sound just like Mexicans used to until we started doing instead of crying. Self-hatred and self-shame? The only thing this Mexican is ashamed of is his panza—and even then, it’s a panza more glorious in its contentment and fire than any gabacho panza can ever hope to attain. Huevos that, pendejo.