I got your heart right here

The 14th approacheth, the holiday that is, for many single adults in America, either (1) dreadful, (2) annoying or (3) re-assuring. Whichever way it hits you, V-day is on the way.

Single adults come in four main categories: (1) Single and miserable about it. (2) Single and ecstatic about it. (3) Single and actively seeking a partner so as to no longer be flying solo. (4) Single and resigned to this fate, without being overly suicidal or ecstatic about the situation.

Whichever category you, as a single, find yourself in, it’s probably fair to say that you view Valentine’s Day, at the every least, as a pain in the ass. This is mostly because our media culture has an overbearing way of delivering a certain message on a regular basis, especially during the “Love” season that peaks on the 14th. That message being that if you’re single and an adult over 30, you’re basically (1) a loser, (2) an asshole, and (3) what the hell is wrong with you? You’re missing out on the most fulfilling thing an adult human being can experience, namely a lifelong relationship with a soul mate partner, that special Someone who “completes you.”

Well, on behalf of all of us Single Happy People, please allow me to say to our media—piss off. And pound sand, while you’re at it.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not a condemnation of marriage and relationships. Hooking up/shacking up with a partner, for whatever reasons, is obviously a very popular way to go. This is both fine and dandy, and I accept it at its face. I know plenty of folks who are in well-established, long-standing relationships that fulfill their needs, desires, and finances perfectly well. Right on and more power to you. Long may you run.

But our media masters regard this choice of living as the only acceptable way to fly. Anything else instantly qualifies you as a weirdo. And that’s the point of my column today, just to say something positive to all my single brothers and sisters out there in the Neon Babylon. Just to say “Hey!” and let you know that it’s OK, it’s all right if you’re single, and you’re fine with it, even (OMG!) happy with it. Just to remind you that there are millions of us hangin’ out and doin’ it every day. There are, in fact, about 100 million single adults out there, 60 million of whom have never been married, with 40 mill either divorced or widowed. With numbers like that, we sure as hell ain’t no freaky fringe cult.

So take that money you don’t have to blow on some obligatory glittering V-day trinket and take yourself out to dinner on the 14th. Then go home, have some drinks, and take advantage of yourself. Just the way you like it. And have a heckuva good time!