How to approach the banksters

“And the man in the suit has just bought a new car from the profit he made from your dreams.” – lyric from “Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys” by Traffic

Back in January, I wrote that Americans were gonna hit the streets in 2011. I got that part right. But I guessed it would be all about ending the war in Afghanistan. Good try, but psychic I ain’t. Who knew that we would steal an idea of applied social discontent from the Middle East, and that The Occupations would spread across our own country? It appears that there will be one in Reno very soon, and there should be. After all, the point of an Occupation is to give regular folk a chance to get together and say, “Everything Sucks. And We Want It To Stop Sucking Real Soon.” We have plenty of neighbors here in Northern Nevada who are eminently qualified to deliver such a message.

The secondary theme that I’d love to see crystallize and surface at the Occupations is “Wall Street, Please Help Us.” Spitting on stockbrokers and their BMWs isn’t especially productive or positive. Instead, why not ask Wall Street for help? The government is hamstrung to the point of dysfunction. This is no longer news. The Banksters of Wall Street can take action. They got money. A lotta money. Most of it came from us. So what will it hurt to say directly to the banksters, “Hey, help us here on Main Street. We’re asking you to do something nice. We won’t make a habit of it. But right now, we need a break. Big time. So how about you forgive our debts? Or greatly reduce them. Surprise us. Blow us away. Make us happy. When was the last time you did anything nice for us, your stupid, ignorant, boneheaded customers? You could stand some good p.r. right now. In fact, if ever a group of people was in desperate need of a serious image revamp, it’s you triple-chinned Gucci-suckin’ sex fiends. At least mull it over. Or this effing drum circle in front of your building is gonna go on until Christmas!”

Of course, this is madness, the kind of stuff Pollyanna dreams up after she’s chomped a couple of pot brownies. But what the hell. If you’re gonna sleep in a park for a month, you might as well shoot the moon. Ask for something big. How about a “Wall Street Helps Main Street” superfund? BP set up a fund of 20 billion after its little boo-boo. The banksters could easily match that figure. It wouldn’t solve everything, no. But it would be … nice.

Those folks in Egypt got rid of their creep dictator. Maybe the plutocrats of Wall Street will get fed up with the daily sea of pissy placards, reach for the checkbook, and ask, “OK, what’s it gonna take to get all you people to go home?”