Hillary Hillary

I’m having a tough time figuring exactly why I’m supposed to mistrust Hillary so totally (and it was kinda cool recently when she was introduced for her Reno speech by Mayor Schieve, making possible the first Hillary Hoot). I mean, it can’t be a Benghazi thing, right? For crissakes, that official Benghazi Committee of Trey Gowdy’s tried at least twice to make her cry in public about that unfortunate incident in Libya. Each time Hillary batted the ball across the net and made the committee look like the petty witch hunt it was. And let’s keep all this shit in perspective. Benghazi resulted in the death of four—count ’em, four—Americans. If you’re really looking for evil screwups in government decision-making, sniff around the pant legs of Dubya, Darth, Rummy and Condi, who were directly responsible, with their extremely warped, stupid, and disastrous “intelligence that supports the policy” approach to Iraq, for (1) deaths of 4,497 Americans, (2) deaths of at least 150,000 Iraqis, (3) incredible hardships associated with thousands upon thousands of serious injuries, and (4) the incineration of over a TRILLION DOLLARS. And—for what? Now that’s a government fuckup worth repeated Congressional committee hounding!

It can’t be for Hillary’s email mess, because I know that most Americans care about that stuff as much as I do. Zero. I do not give a flaming poodle puddle about Hillary’s emails and the servers she used and blah blah blah. Puhleeze. Gimme a break. Whatever!

All these trifles. Benghazi, emails, and now, the big bad Clinton Foundation that merely spends millions fighting AIDS, deforestation and malaria (and what exactly are your contributions in this arena, Donaldo?). Trifles that show us one thing, and one thing only—Republicans are absolutely desperate to smear the Clinton name, and they’ll fire up every stinking little trifle they can find in that pursuit.

What we’re seeing here is simply the effect of one crazed Clintophobic network and a bunch of Clintophobic right wing pundits telling America repeatedly that Hillary is a crook and she can’t be trusted and she should be in jail and they pound it so relentlessly and steadily that millions of soft-headed citizens who can’t be bothered to think for themselves have finally accepted all this meaningless ridiculousness as reality. Lemmingville, man! Well, I’m sorry, but calling a zebra orange and blue does not make it so.

You know what you can be suspicious of? The Modern News Cycle, an utterly insatiable beast that demands fresh fodder every three hours.