Government overthrow

There is the predictable call, after this steaming curveball of an election, for Democrats to do some serious soul-searching. To take a good long look in the mirror and figure out where it all went wrong.

Yeah, well—fuck that shit. We won this thing. Goddammit. We fucking won this thing. Hillary has a lead of about 1,002,049. And it’s still growing as votes are counted. Maybe two million. Such a reality will mean that Hillary and the Dems, despite getting royally screwed by the FBI, shouldn’t spend too much time agonizing in the mirror of self-examination. We should remind ourselves and our fellow citizens that this election, had it taken place in Iceland, Mongolia, Costa Rica, France, or, ironically enough, Russia, would have resulted in Hillary moving back to the White House. More than 100 countries on our planet choose their national leader by awarding the job to the candidate with the most votes. Gee. What a staggering concept.

The USA, though, continues to abide a bizarre system of presidential determination, a system established by aristocratic slave owners in the 18th century, one that makes possible, through its archaic skullduggeries, the unfortunate scenario where the person finishing second in the vote count becomes—abracadabra!—the winner. This bizarre bad joke has now happened twice in the last 16 years and, Jesus Christ, let’s get rid of this piece of shit, already! Of course, I’m furious, because in ’00 and ’16, my successful choices in both extremely important elections got hosed. You’re goddamn right I’m furious about it. The Electoral College is a worthless relic created back when women, minorities and non-property owners couldn’t vote. It’s about as relevant to 2016 as the family ox. It’s nothing less than a national embarrassment that continually perplexes and horrifies reasonable people around the world.

I know, I know. A constitutional amendment to abolish the E.C. has literally no chance. Fortunately, though, there’s a Plan B worthy of your inspection. Go to and take a look at their scheme, where if states totalling 270 electoral votes pass its measure requiring state’s electors to vote in concert with the national popular vote, we can bury the foul, absurd, and dangerous Electoral College once and for all. It’s not completely far-fetched. It’s maybe even doable. In fact, it’s already passed in 11 states, totalling 165 electoral votes.

You’re pissed. You’re worried. Good. Do something. Do this. Why the fuck not? Death to the Electoral College. Now.