Go directly to jail

OK, let’s take a look at the now classic pic of President Dum Dum yukking it up with his pals comrades Lavrov and Kislyak, just before their big poker party in the Oval Office. What are some of the takeaways here?

Well, for starters, the last time I saw a hairdo like Twitler’s, it was in the office of a guy who was saying, “Now, what do I gotta do to get you into this truck today?” If Marvel Comics had a villain called the Toad (they do, yes?), his daddy would look exactly like Kislyak (who appears to be on the Steve Bannon fitness program). From their chuckles and chortles, it appears that Trump’s “Comey is no longer my homey” gag went over pretty good. And for a guy who swears that he has nothing to do with the Russians—“nothing at all, I’m tellin’ ya, trust me!!!!”—we keep getting weekly reminders that this asshole is positively drowning in Russians, rubles and vodka.

So when are us peasants going to finally just say “fuck it,” bring out the pitchforks, light the torches, and march up to the castle in the dead of night to kick a little ass? I’m really not in the mood to hear any more about Special Prosecutors, Independent Commissions, and Bipartisan Blah Blah Woof Woof. Sure, all that proper process jive would have flown about a month ago, but that choo-choo has pulled out of the station.

Now, it’s time to directly proceed to Impeachment City, where we can finally get a hold of Dum Dum’s tax returns and start filling in the missing pieces of this bizarre, sinister jigsaw puzzle. Let’s get it on already! It’s time! Twitler very possibly just got a few of our agents killed because he wanted to give some juicy tidbits of intel to Vlad, via Laffin’ Lavrov and Toad Man. How horrifically ironic is it that this so-called president, who ranted about keeping America safe with his lame-ass travel bans, now appears to be far more of a security risk to our country than any student traveling from Yemen?

Where are the Republicans? What is their response? Why are they utterly silent? Are they too goddamn busy dumping in their Depends to stand up and say something/anything about these weekly travesties taking place in our White House? The Republican Party—the Invertebrates Choice! The Republican Party—Slithering to Washington! The Republican Party—Got Spinal Viagra? The Republican Party—You Maroons Actually Voted For Us!