Gibbons sees God in mirror

Political scandal erupts!

Photo By F. Stop Fitzsimian

“This is quite possibly as scary as the spectre of the Virgin Mary!”

U.S. Rep. James Gibbons of Nevada announced today that he had seen the image of God in his bathroom mirror.

Religious pilgrims began gathering outside Gibbons’ southwest Reno home to worship the apparition and supply-side economics. Television satellite trucks were on the scene.

Experts on religious cults and imagery compared the situation with the 1994 sighting of a spectre of the Virgin Mary on the wall of a church in Colfax, Calif., apparently caused by light refraction (www.artistresource.org/artists/btdres.htm) and especially the “discovery” of the face of Jesus in a forkful of spaghetti on a Pizza Hut billboard advertisement in DeKalb County, Ga., in May of 1991 (www.csicop.org/si/9611/judas_priest.html).

Gibbons didn’t explain how he knew the apparition in his mirror was God, except to say, “God has always been one of my closest advisers.” Gibbons was wearing an aluminum-foil cap to ward off any messages from Hollywood liberals being beamed at his brain.

Asked whether she also saw the vision, Gibbons’ wife Dawn said, “I won’t go near his bathroom.” But she said her husband might have recognized the spectre as God because during his days as a Delta Airline pilot, he was always seeing the reflection of God in the cockpit windshield.

Gibbons said that, on occasion, he also catches a glimpse of Satan off to the side in the mirror. He described this image as a slight, slouched figure with wire-rimmed glasses and sandy, thinning hair carrying a sign reading, “The end of Social Security is not near.”

Democrats charged that Gibbons’ vision was proof that he considers himself godlike, but a spokesperson for Gibbons disputed that claim.

“Congressman Gibbons has no reflection in mirrors,” she said.

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