G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

On the plus side, G.I. Joe is much better than the latest Transformers movie. On the negative side, it still isn’t very good. Master Thespian Channing Tatum plays a special ops soldier who finds out about the elite G.I. Joe force, teaming with them to fight an evil weapons manufacturer (Christopher Eccleston) and his nasty doctor sidekick. They have devised a way to destroy cities with monster microbes that can eat anything, and it’s up to G.I. Joe—well, the elite unit that is G.I. Joe—to stop them. Sienna Miller gets to play bad and run around in tight-fitting black outfits, while Dennis Quaid croaks a lot in his minimal screen time. Marlon Wayans is OK as Tatum’s sidekick and, of course, comic relief. Some of the action scenes pop, but the movie is occasionally derailed by shitty computer graphics. Overall, you could do worse this summer, I guess.