Follow the students!

I know there are many out there who don’t get into politics and political power plays and all that stuff, but it should be noted that this Russian investigation being conducted by Bob Mueller is slowly exposing an endlessly fascinating and eternally interesting story for the ages. I mean, goddamn, it’s The Manchurian Candidate meets The Americans in House of Cards—and it’s for freaking real! So, sorry, but this is no time to get fatigued by this tale, if that’s what you’re feeling. It’s a time to instead get wrapped up and absolutely turbo-charged with the genuine sense that this is a very special time in our history and that this amazingly outrageous saga is taking shape right in front of our gaping faces.

Think of a jigsaw puzzle, a horribly complex one, with a thousand pieces on the floor. And slowly but surely, our man Mueller and his crack team of badasses are putting it together, piece by agonizing piece. Don’t be in a hurry. One must be patient. One must be meticulous. This has gotta be done right. And it appears that Sheriff Bob and his boys indeed know exactly what they’re doing.

One of the larger questions dangling out there right now is—Does Paul Manafort have the information that will ultimately put Dum Dum, Dum Dum, Jr., and Jared in the klink? If he does, it’s his “get out of jail” card. If he doesn’t, he’s done. Buh bye. If he talks, he may one day lay eyes on his beloved Persian rugs once again. And if he doesn’t talk, he knows full well that Mueller has Flynn, Gates and Papadopoulos now singing in the Kompromat Choir, and they’ll all very likely take down Trump anyway, so really, why should I fall on this sword for Combover Nero? The endless juiciness just keeps getting slathered on!

I would put Stoneman Douglas High School students Delaney Tarr, Emma Gonzalez and David Hogg in the House of Representatives right this very second. These kids absolutely rock, and I would replace despicable Russian agent Dana Rohrabacher, Russian agent Devin Nunes, and Trump lickspittle Paul Ryan with those three teens in a second and a half.

They sound exactly the way you want your congressperson to sound, and their raps have been delightfully refreshing and inspiring.

Students all over America, go for it. Get it on, get pissed, and go for it. Show us what untainted, unpurchased, uncompromised leadership looks like. Show us, and we will follow. We will be there for you. The word goes out. The time has come. Release the students!