Floating ideas

In 1997, the band Spiritualized released an album with a memorable title—Ladies and Gentlemen, We Are Floating in Space. That thought, when used as a daily mantra, can be comforting somehow in this time of wacky kookiness.

After 32 months of The Dum Dum Experiment, it seems very safe to assert the following: The brazen corruption of the Trump Administration is exceeded only by its brazen detestability.

In other words, if the Americans of 2020 think it's important that their POTUS, above all else, be a detestable prick, well then, Tweet Boy is a stone cold shoo-in.

It’s time to spread the word. There are now three men who are ready to primary Prez Capone, and this could be fun. This Trio of Trumpophobes is made up of William Weld, Joe Walsh and Mark Sanford—Republicans who are fed up with the Madness of Dotard Donald and are now ready to hassle him directly in the primaries that are four months away. Yes, Walsh and Sanford have been total assholes in the past, but they are Republicans, after all. Weld, being more of a Reagan-era guy, is less of a jerk in terms of being associated with Tea Party-esque assholism. But all that stuff is unimportant. What really matters is that their AK-47s are loaded with fresh, freaky pellets of political poop, and they’re ready to pop off and paste the broad backside of the pouty putz POTUS. No one really knows what impact their campaigns will have on Agent Orange, who Retrumplicans support in ridiculous numbers. But once these guys open fire on Twitler’s mottled ass, who knows what the damage will be? One thing is certain. When it comes to Dump’s horribleness as President, there’s a lot to talk about. As in a lot. I mean, for fux sake … Sharpiegate?

It's now obvious that the overall strategy coming out of Retrumplican National HQ for the campaign is simply to smear all Dems with the “S” word. Socialism! As the great Count Floyd used to say, “Oooh, scaaarrrry!” Well, you know what the Dem counterpunch should be? The “R” word, as in … Republican! Ooooh, VERY scaarrryyy! Because, as a Republican, the candidate is telling you that his/her position on gun control is “machine guns for all Americans, especially the crazy ones!” White supremacists? “Let's not be hasty. There are some really nice Nazis out there with some interesting ideas.” Health care? “Get an effing job with an insurance plan, deadbeat.” Election protection? “Excuse me? Say what?”

Let the smearing begin!